Anybody remember this little ditty?
I think it was called "Two Irishmen"
sample line....
"Cocktails, ginger ale, seven cents a glass..if you don't like it..."
That would have been known by every kid in my elementary school when I was there in the early to mid seventies. I vividly remember singing this with a group of friends whilst walking home from Thornton Heights elementary school.
We loved it because of how "almost" naughty it was...
You know...the natural build up to that dirty word , when all of a sudden , presto! Not the word you were expecting.
How terribly thrilling for a third grader
So, for you kids , that sample line turns into,
"shove it up your..ask me no more questions tell me no more lies".
That and many more close calls. It's not until the last line that you actually get to swear...
"If you get hit with a bucket of sh*t be sure to close your eyes"
Truer words were never written.
Oh, and the protagonists were Irishmen, Everybody wanted to be Irish when we were kids. Don't know why, maybe it had something to do with green...or leprechanus..or Irish Rovers. Beats me. All I know was that Notre Dame was my favorite college as a kid. Once again for no apparent reason except that their nickname was the Fighting Irish.
Who in their right mind don't love that mascot.
Better than, oh, I don't know, this one..
It's a slug. A banana slug at that.
Except it got a cool plug in Pulp Fiction from Vincent Vega
Right?
So I guess it would make it better than this one
The infamous Red Riot from my High School days.
The year I got cut from the basketball team they offerred me the job as dressing as the Red Riot for games, you know, to stay close to my team mates.
I accepted.
I was the first and last to perform the dry hump on our archrival's mascot, the Portland Bulldog.
The coup de grace was that I put a bag over his head and tied his front paws behind his back before I did it.
That's the stuff legends are made out of.
...tangent there.....
Then there was this tune...same idea, but no ethicity involved with this one. It's a classic
I can thank Dr. Demento for both of those being permanently ingrained in my mind.
Thanks.
I guess.
Oh, I had a first today. I called 911. No kidding. I did.
(No it has nothing to do with the young girl who gave me the prolonged finger because I objected to her distracted texting and driving. That just pissed me off. Royally). Does anyone even say royally is that sense anymore? I just did.
Let me set the scene...
In a line of cars at a red light.
Fairly busy road.
Something catches my eye.
There's some commotion coming from the house just ahead of me and off to the right.
I see an agitated woman getting out of a car parked in the driveway, flailing her arms and gesturing wildly, oh, and hollering too. A lot.
Then a gentleman (not really a gentleman) that appeared to be loading that same car with junk throws what appears to be all of his worldly possesions in a box across the front yard. Like Tom Brady. Only different,
Somebody obviously isn't happy. Two peoples obviously aren't happy.
Light turns green, but I don't want to go. This is better than watching replacement refs blow game winning touchdown calls on Monday Night Football.
So as traffic starts to move he charges her.
She has a friend (I don't know where she was...maybe hiding in the trunk?) that rushes between them
Screaming gesturing lady somehow has an umbrella that she repeatedly keeps swinging, whacking him on the top of the head with it, thwarting his advancement. I'll bet she rocks at Whack A Mole .
Reminded me of Ruth Buzzi.
Obsolete reference for you kids.
Anyway, it didn't look good.
Hence the 911 call.
By the way, I sucked at the details to the 911 operator.
I'm surprised they didn't arrest me for withholding evidence.
Oh, and so you know, your cell phone goes on lock down for five minutes after calling 911.
So don't call 911 if you were planning on ordering a pizza after.
I think it's so they can call you back if they have too.
That or they're doing some sort of subversive goverment mind control.
Just an average Joe (or Pete in this case) doing his civic duty
That was some crazy ssshhhaving cream
Oh, and the tongue thinker...that's me
That's not me, that's Justin Bieber, Apparently he is a tongue thinker too.
I guess that's better than being called a knuckle dragger.
Or Lola.
That's all I've got for now.
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.
