Truly terrible

This, my friends, is truly terrible.

Where's the real Jan?
Perhaps Rerun ate her prior to busting out his stellar dance moves. There's lot's of energy in protein.
Didn't keep fake Jan from singing lead on the opening number. I think they were in cahoots.

If that opening performance of Turn the Beat Around doesn't cause a brain seizure or epiliepsy or an anaphylactic shock, then surely Disco Duck will. The only thing that performance did was lay the groundwork for the Rip Taylor and Alice the maid's version of...well, I don't really know what that song was that they were "doing". (Note the quotes..picture finger quotes). Anyway Disco Duck made that number seem to suck a little less than it should have.



So that's good.

How about this?

This is what turned Richard Dawson into an alcoholic. Well, this and all that "tunneling" he did with Sgt. Schulz to get to Colonel Klink's and Major Hochstetter's secret love compound. Again, the "quotes".

  

My family could have scored more points than this one did if they had asked the questions in Swahili. To my ten year old. In sign language. I don't know, what's the worse answer to "Name an animal with three letters in it's name?" Frog or alligator?

It's a toss up.

How's this?

Worst Music video. Ever.
Perhaps with the worst opening line in a song. Ever.
"Hey baby. Wake up from your asleep".
...and that's the best line in the song. For reals.

Swear to God.

Although, I did see these guys back up Kajagoogoo underneath the pier at Old Orchard. At high tide.


That's Kajagoogoo and they're too shy shy. Hush hush. Eye to eye.

...and that's awful.

How about this?

What made it worse was when Billy...or Bobby...or whatever his name was, bypassed the little bucket and sucked directly on the cow's teets. That, unfortunately, didn't make the final cut.
Now that's milking a cow.

Dad would only play if the kids would let him put his gin and tonics in Milky, the Marvelous Milking Cow.

Mom preferred wine coolers. The kids always wondered why Mom kept Milky in the fridge and only took her out to watch General Hospital.

That's a happy family.

This is the Terrible Trivium


He was a character in my favorite book as a child. The Phantom Tollbooth.
I think I've mentioned that before.
As a matter of fact I know I have...here it is...the mention...
http://pompatusofpete.blogspot.com/2012/05/fifty-shades-of-pete.html

My daughter performed this play at Summer Camp last year. I don't remember this character being in the play.

Isn't that terrible?

Enough of this...let's end on a positive note.

I have 94 posts in the books and, as of this writing, 9,428 hits ....I'm committed to hitting 10,000 by the time I put up my 100th post. So counting this post that's 572 hits over my next five posts.

I'm not so sure.

Spread the word.

Keep me writing this drivel.
...that's not such a terrible request, is it?

(although I'm not sure that was really a positive note, was it?...more of a plaintive note methinks)

much love

Dough, a dear. A femail dear.

Hopefully that title bothered you to read as much as it did for me to type it.

I don't have much capacity for words that are spelled wrong...or actually, the people that spell the words wrong.



Although I can't swear that I don't have a typo or two interspersed in these missives of mine, I can swear that I swear every time I find one.

In a former job of mine I was in a food production plant owned by a company that I can't name...but the name of the company did rhyme with Smell Monte. So, I'm taking a tour of their plant and after about the 74th iteration of their spiel of quality control of all aspects of their business I pointed out that on their label of a broccoli concoction that they had misspelled the word broccoli.



It was wrong.

The tour guide stops , looks at me, and says,
"No it's not".

So I said, in my most professional tone.."It is".

The tour guide, for some unexplicable reason, decides to dig in his heels.
"No. That's spelled right. That's how you spell broccoli"

Me, in a now unprofessional but sort of streetwise manner say,
"Sorry. Broccoli has two c's and one l....not one c and two l's. Unless it's some form of broccoli unknown to man that you've just created. Unless I've been spelling it wrong since I first learned to spell it when I was in third grade. Unless every edition of Webster's dictionary ever published has had that one error in it. Unless you are saying your company is somehow smarter than every other person in the world that has spelled it the other way every other time it's been spelled since that word has been created. If that's what you're saying , then I guess I'm wrong.



Let's just say that smarmy bastard got my rankles up.

Two days later he emailed me and apologized that he was wrong. Didn't matter much because I decided to stop doing business with him the second he told me that hadn't misspelled broccoli.

You live you learn.

Things spelled wrong don't always make me mad. Sometimes that make me smile.



The backwards N makes this one twice as nice.



I'll bet if I were to ask the owner a dozen times which of these was spelled wrong he'd only be able to give me the right answer half of the time.



Dude. That one just makes me sad.



You shore is.



M-i-s-s-i-s-s-i...hey, wait a minute

Misspelled words bother me more than, oh, let's say, mispronounced words.

A very smart friend of mine always pronounced tragedy as tradegy. What's even more tragic is that I've heard him say tradegy enough times to pick up on him mispronouncing it.

Oh, scratch that, it's strategy and stragety. ...but I liked how I used the word tragic in that previous sentence. So I'm keeping it.

But I will admit that I cringe every time someone says acrosst.

Now I'm far from perfect, I just reserve the right to criticize everyone else's failings.

That's what I do.

...notice I didn't use the word restaurant?

That one gets me every time. Except that time.

I think.

My spelling is Wobbly. It's good spelling but it Wobbles, and the letters get in the wrong places. - A. A. Milne


rock n roll

Mayday Mayday

Wait, not that kind of Mayday...




...and maybe not this kind either. Well, sort of.

I live almost exactly halfway between the equator and the North Pole..no lie.
I just posted this sign on my front lawn



Actually, that part is a lie
..I actually posted it in my next door neighbors back yard. It's still valid.

To me May means the beginning of Summer. Where I'm from, we go from Winter to Summer. No Spring. Unless maybe Spring was last weekend. Take a long nap and you might miss it.

It means soda and pretzels and beer.
It means a basket full of sandwiches and weenies.
Well, maybe not, but it made me smile when I wrote it.
Weenies.
Think about it. Did it make you smile too?

Summer means working outside in the yard...



It means cookouts...

and hanging out with your friends and engaging in  long meaningful discussions...

Sorry about that one. Apparently this guy's brother is the one that does the yard work.

and talking about everything that happened during your hibernation over the prior eight months of winter

It means being able to ride with no heat or defroster on. Wait, even better it means riding around with your windows open or your top down.

..and singing Radar Love ...or Stuck in the Middle With You... or Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini at the top of your lungs.

Well, maybe not Radar Love.

So friends, get out and enjoy the Summer.

...and tell them Pete sent you.

Peace and love.

Easy there big fella'

Easy.

Easy is fun.

This looks easy....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfOs_phe0fA


I think this guy has more than seven women on his mind...his online "girlfriend" that he's never met makes eight...and the lunch lady in his school cafeteria is nine...and his best friend's Mom is ten...and that Farrah Fawcett poster from 1977...and Miss February 2004...and the dozens of women he's videotaped, no forget it, that's to easy.

So the ukelele must be easier to play than a guitar, right? There's only four strings compared to six on a guitar. So that makes it 33% easier, right?




Well, maybe not...that's a lot of dots

So, take it easy. That's not the same as easy does it. Is it?

I think easy does is more like this..
Bruce: "I'm so mad I could just scream"
Gregory: "Easy does it Bruce, I think you have someone else's purse".



There's easy as pie.
Which I don't get.
Is pie easy?




Easy as toast doesn't quite roll off the tongue though, does it?

Now falling off a log, that's easy.


...and it makes sense.

Like taking candy from a baby makes sense.


It's not nice, but I imagine it is easy. I say I imagine because I've never actually done it. As a matter of fact I don't know anyone that has. As a matter of fact I don't know if I've ever seen a baby actually eating candy. I don't even know what kind of candy a baby would even eat. Do you?


Now really, how many of you didn't see that one coming?
That was too easy.

Then there's easy like a Sunday morning. But for my money I think Saturday is easier than Sunday. It is because it's easier to start the weekend than to end it, and Sunday is half way to the end. Hence, Saturday gets the edge, albeit a slight one.


Easy is not always good.

If a woman is easy, that's bad. But is it worse than if a woman is hard?
and is it possible?
I think so (not that it's worse, that it's possible)...and I'll choose the hard woman


Every time.

Easy is simple and being simple is not good.
I call my cat simple.
It's not a compliment.



Easy can be lenient. Whatever that means.
"Go easy on him, he's got a wife and kids"
Huh?

There's easy money and easy pickings...easy targets...easy going...you can have an easy smile, which is nice, I guess.
You can take the easy way out...which is what I'm about to do




Tell someone tomorrow that they have an easy smile.
I will if you will.
I don't even know if that's truly a compliment, but I bet they smile when you say it.
I know I would.



So enough with the easy.

Although this wasn't exactly hard.

Remember this friends...

For a dummy, you make a lot of sense.-Fred Sanford

Don't Frig with Beantown

For all of my friends in Boston...



Truer words were never spoke.

They found those two bastids, sorry, cowards, that set off those bombs at the marathon. Not just any marathon...the BOSTON marathon. I don't even run, but even I know about the Boston Marathon. It's friggin' sacred is what it is. Almost makes me want to go for a run. Sort of. At least a slow trot..or a fast walk, whichever would be easier. It would just be to the local ice cream joint anyway...or maybe I'd be chasing down some ice cream truck. So it goes.



Anyway, these two bastids, I mean cowards, got their photos on the internets about a day ago. They were famous now. Or should I say infamous.
So last night they decided to kill another innocent.
...and hijack a car....
...and throw a few bombs around..
...then one of them got killed.

Too bad.

Not really.

So his little brother goes on the run.


And holds a city hostage.

But, not really.

This is what Boston did.

They said, "We're gonna get that bahstid"
(It sounded just like that, by the way)

They shut down.
No schools.
No public transportation.
No grocery stores, or shopping malls, or post offices.

No Red Sox game.



What other major Metropolitan city wold have done this?

Only Boston.

I love Boston.

...and they looked for him. They told everyone else to stay put, we'll find him.


And they did.

Anywho...long story short...Some Bostonian had the urge, during lockdown, to go for a little walk around the yahd..probably had to take a leak...and low and behold, he saw the little bastid, I mean coward, all stoved up in his boat. The boat was parked in his driveway. Not the best getaway plan if you ask me.




(actual boat actual driveway)

Not entirely sure what happened then, but I just saw a video shot from a cell phone that captured the final takedown, and after about 50,000 gunshots were fired, they got the bastid...I mean coward. Alive. That's good.

What's better is this...

A city came together....following up on leads from photos put out by the media (who is not always our friend)...listening to law enforcement to lock down and stay inside...doing what needed to be done..all in the name of retribution against innocent citizens. Hell, the whole country came together.

The Yankees fans were even showing the Red Sox some love.

It's about time things return to normalcy and we get back to this...


Peace and love Boston.

I love that dirty water....

Don't come any closer, don't come any nearer....

Things need to be a little simpler today.
Music always seems to help.

The perfect pop song

Brilliant.

Written by Elvis Costello.

Covered by everyone...but I like this version by Dave Edmunds the best....or is it Rockpile?

I'll bet Dana Snyder would know.

Even Linda Ronstadt did this one...but not like this.

"There are some things you can't cover up with lipstick and powder

I thought I heard you mention my name, can't you talk any louder ?
Don't come any closer, don't come any nearer
My vision of you can't get any clearer
Oh, I just want to hear girls talk"

Who doesn't?

or maybe this is...

Nick Lowe

...or is it Rockpile? I'll bet Dana Snyder would know. Either way, it's the same band as the first clip.

"Cruel to be kind in the right measure

Cruel to be kind it's a very good sign
Cruel to be kind means that I love you"

These guys were great.

How 'bout this one?

This one is Rockpile. For sure. I don't even need to ask Dana Snyder about this one.

Throw in a little Robert Plant on lead vocal for good measure.

That's a JAM...with a capital J, A, M

Robert Plant often comes to my home state..I've got two friends that have seen him at two different locations over the last two years.

One was at a pub, which you'd expect.

The other was at a Mall, which you would not.

I've never met him.

But I did meet this guy...

Well, one of them.

Graham Nash.

(This is without Stephen Stills...so this is just Crosby and Nash...not the more popular Crosby Stills and Nash...or the also popular Crosby, Stills Nash and Young...or the less popular Crosby Steals the Stash).

Back to me meeting Graham Nash

Portland Maine

Lobby of the Nickelodeon Theater

Circa 1990, which was my prior life

Prior to a very forgettable Bill Murray movie called Quick Change

I see Graham Nash standing alone, possibly with a bag of popcorn in his hand...or maybe Jujubes. I think the English like Jujubes. Either way, not important.

So I go up to him...shake his hand...tell him what an influence his writing and music have been to me (which was/is true...although I'm a bigger Stephen Stills fan than Graham Nash fan, this I did not say). He asks me a few things about Portland, we exchange a few other pleasantries, then hugs me before he leaves. That's right. He hugged me.

Thought that was awfully nice.

OK, that one sidetracked me a little bit.

The point of those first three clips was it feels good to reminisce about things you haven't thought of for a long time.

How they bring you back to simpler times, easier times, better times.

At least in your memory.

A little reprieve from the current times we live in is a very necessary thing once and awhile.

It's what keeps us sane.

One more from my days or riding my bike up to 7-11 to buy the latest Rolling Stone...and one more that Rockpile...or Dave Edmunds..or Nick Lowe (I'll bet Dana Snyder would know) was involved in.

This one with Ross Little's Favorite Beatle.

How this for simple...the lyrics for this song (for this whole song) are

"Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Now!

Ooh!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh yeah!
Yeah! Yeah! Now! Yeah!
Well, now, why haven't I had any dinner?
Well, well.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Oh yeah! Hey yeah! Oh yeah!
Well, now, why haven't I had any dinner?
No, no, no.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Ow!
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
Well, well, well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Yeah! Yeah! Ho! "

...but I like it just the same.

...and I like how Sir Paul calls Pete Townshend a "poof" because he's the only sod not wearing a lousy silver suit.

I'm not so sure he gave him a hug when they left.

As Paul says one..two..hree..four...

...and let the credits roll.

Hug your loved ones a little bit tighter tonight.

Peace and Love.

Please.

You call that music?

Why yes I do.
Just a few words.
Letting the music do the talking.

First up, Chuck Berry schoolin' Keith Richards
"That's the way Chuck Berry plays it...you understand?"

How about this one?
Lead singer of ths group had five hit singles with five different bands. No lie.
Name's Tony Burrows.
Google him if you don't believe me...and I know none of you do.
Love grows where my rosemary goes...I like that.

No apologies on this. Flo and Eddie (the two misters on lead vocals) are the coolest lead singers in any pop band. Ever...and the lyrics?

"Elenore, can I take the time

To ask you to speak your mind
Tell me that you love me better"

Never mind that etcetera line.

That's 'effin good.

I could post about a dozen clips of the Turtles. The Turtles Rule...the Turtles were cool..the Turtles were better than the Beatles.

Right Ross?

Oh and Howard Kaylan (Eddie) is a facebook friend of mine... so we're tight, right?

Please buy his new book, "Shell Shocked: My life with the Turtles, Flo and Eddie, Frank Zappa, etc.".

God knows he's asked me enough times.

How's this for a hook?

"I know who I want to take me home?"

That's gold.

I can right the hooks...I'd just need to someone to write all of the other lines

That song was from 1998. That's a little too current for me....it's only 15 years old.
I've got to get back to my era.

Ahhh, this is more like it.

Little known fact...
any Paul McCartney song written after he died in that car crash in 1967 was actually written by Paul Simon.

OK.
One more.
Let's go Canadian on this one.
Who doesn't love Canada?
Guess Who?

Right, the Guess Who.
Oh, and the Wolfman references pompatus in this one.

Listen up folks... as my friend Bruce said
,
"My tires were slashed and I almost crashed but the lord had mercy
My machine she's a dud out stuck in the mud somewhere in the swamps of jersey"

 I have NO IDEA what he was talking about.

Much love until the next time.

Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine.

Welcome to my new blog.

THE POMPATUS OF FEET !!

I've done a lot of thinking on this...a lot of research...a lot of consulting.

There are no legitimate blogs about feet. This is going to be my niche. I've already trademarked the name.

This is going to be THE place to come to when you want to read about all things feet.


No apologies



My goal is to make this THE place to share foot info.
For instance...
Did you know....

• There are approx. 250,000 sweat glands in your feet..and they produce as much as a half pint of moisture each day. Kind of gross, but no lie.

(Half Pint)

• The skin on your feet is thicker than anywhere else on your body.

• Buy shoes later in the day when your feet are tired. They will also be slightly swollen, ensuring that you won't buy a pair of shoes that are too small.

• The gait pattern of your right foot does not usually match that of your left.

(by the way...that's Elroy "Crazy Legs" Hirsh for you non feet lovers out there)

• The size of your feet has absolutely nothing to do with your intellect or (if you're of the male species) how well endowed you are.

Oh, I'm a size 14. No lie.

• Today is National Measure Your Foot Day

Actually it's not.

...but it is April's Fools Day.

Did I get you?

Pompatus of Feet?
Please.

...now Pompatus of Meat is a whole nother story...



Peace and love...now go tell a little white lie to someone else