Mary liked to pour gravy on John's ______ .

Does that title ring a bell?
Of course it does...
Anyone remember Match Game?

Actually that's Charles Nelson Reilly.

Match Game seemed like a part of my growing up. I think it was on continuously from the time I was, oh, I don't know, maybe nine until I lost interest in it. It could still be on now in some fashion for all I know.

For you youngsters or readers not from the States (believe it or not, Pompatus of Pete has a decent following in Russia...and Germany...and even Latvia of all places. Kid you not, Latvia), Match Gane was a game show with two contestants..


One host..the one and only Gene Rayburn (of the long skinny microphone Clan)


...and six "celebrity" panelists


Actually, celebrity might have been a bit of a stretch.
As a kid I had no idea who Charles Nelson Reilly was..I just knew him as the guy on the top right "celebrity" spot. Right next to Brett Sommers. "Who's Brett Summers"? you may ask. My reply would be, "I don't know".

Richard Dawson parlayed his stint as Newkirk in Hogan's Hero's into the middle spot, bottom row on Match Game, which eventually led to him hosting The Family Feud, a game EVERYONE knows, but, let's call a spade a spade, not nearly up to the calibre of Match Game.

Those three seemed to be regulars, if my memory serves me right. Maybe throw in Betty White more often than not as well.The other two to three spots would change each week. These would be celebs not quite up to par with those four. If you can believe that.

These were the type of "celebrities" that would be on the Merv Griffin show. I'm not talking about the first guest type, more likely they would be at the far end of the couch, coming on in the last five minutes usually reserved for up and coming comedians. Or maybe you'd see them perform on the Jerry Lewis telethon, but in the overnight hours when Jerry wasn't quite fried yet.


(I don't know if those numbers at the bottom of the screen are still active, but if you're from either Orange or Dutchess County why don't you give it a try...for Jerry's kid's.)

Or maybe these celebs would be on one of the trillion variety shows that used to be on back in the day...like the Flip Wilson Show...or Donny and Marie...or Sonny & Cher...the Brady Bunch. Christ, I think even Lola Falana had a variety show back in the 70's.

Remember her?



Lola's the tall one in the middle.

Possibly these second tier celebs were bit players on one of the gagillions of sitcoms that were on then as well. For instance, it wouldn't be Bob Newhart (from the first Bob Newhart show. You know the one where he was a shrink) it would be someone from his ensemble cast...like Suzanne Pleshette, who played his wife...or Bill Dailey, his next door neighbor Howard , who was a pilot or something...or Peter Bonerz (insert the Beavis and Butthead snicker here), who shared receptionists with Bob but was a dentist or orthodontist..or Marcia Wallace, said sassy receptionist.

Get the picture?



Now you do....

So , off the top of my head I recall "celebs" like ...
Nipsy Russell
Gary Burghoff
Jimmie Walker
Avery Schreiber
Bert Convy
Orson Bean
Jo Ann Pflug
...holy cow, where'd that last one come from?

Swear to God. These are real people. I think. Google 'em. I dare you. Might be a few mispellings sprinkled in there for good measure.

I think the reason I liked Match Game so much as a kid was because I knew they were all behaving a little naughty...with the double entendre fill in the blanks..half of them seemed to be smoking...and I've got a sneaking suspicion that having a bottle in the dressing room was part of the contract.

Now...how to wrap this car crash of a blog up?

How about this?

I predict the game show format to make a comeback. "Reality" tv seems to be where it's at currently, but that can't really last, can it? America isn't isn't that stupid, is it?

I'll take one Ed Sullivan for as many two headed honey boo boo american idol survivor housewives as you could fit barrel.

Stuff that in Charles Nelson Reilly's pipe and smoke it.


Dumb Dora was so dumb she used to grow _______ in the community garden.

...and wouldn't you know, I never did get around to explaining the premise of the game.

So it goes.