Sometimes I....No, I don't.

There's a reason I'm posting this video...



...but , for the life of me, I forget what the reason was.

But, that reminds me of something else I can bore you with. My memory. Actually, my lack of memory.
I have a horrible memory. The worst. My memory is so bad it's fairly legendary for people that know me (or pretend to know me...if I don't know them, can they know me?)...and maddening for the people that depend on me to remember things...or even worse, expect me to remind them of things that can't be forgot. Birthdays...appointments...assignments....details in general...I'm not your guy. Sorry.

What reminded me today of my bad memory was running into someone in a store this afternoon. I was waiting to meet a few other people (that I did know, I swear) and a woman with her son walks past me, stops, turns around, and says, "Peter?"

So, naturally, I say, "Hey!, how are you?"...all the while having no idea who this person is..but this was going to buy me some time. Obviously it had been some time since I had seen this person, by the way she said my name (you noticed the question mark, right?)...so I had that going for me. I thought (for a brief second)....I might actually come up with this one.

Her..."I'm good. How have you been?"


Me.."Good, good" "It's been a long time, hasn't it?" (I felt safe with this one...even I can remember people by sight at least, in my recent past...not their names, mind you, but at least a familiar face...and this one was not registering).
....five minutes later, after much joking, and catching up, good conversation and smiles all around, she went on her way, and I, mine.

I still don't know who she was. Never will.

...what was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, my memory.

It's funny. Many things I write about are from the past. Maybe it's "Pete's version" of the past? Perhaps they didn't really happen that way....although I swear they're true...the robbery, my homerun at little league tryouts, the bat in my room (I did write about all of these things, didn't I?)...All true. If it's not true, I'll admit it...like being in the Macy's day parade.

Maybe my memory's not truly bad...


...maybe it's just selective.

I don't remember what I had for dinner last Tuesday, but I do remember my pinewood derby car that didn't go down the track because I used nails in the wheels instead of an axle (don't you forget...I'm not very mechanical)


I don't remember my oldest brother's birthday, but I do remember the two of us going into the woods of Sunset Park to chop down the first real Christmas tree I ever had as a kid, strapping it to the back of his Triumph Spitfire and bringing it back to my parents house...picture this with a tree on it going down New York Avenue with two proud lumberjacks in the car


I don't remember what the last song I heard on the radio in my car was, but I do remember buying Joe's Garage Act 1 (Frank Zappa)..More Songs About Buildings and Food (Talking Heads)...and Get the Knack (yep , the Knack...you know My Sharona, don't you? Sure you do) the same Saturday morning at Recordland on Congress Street, downtown Portland, with Ron Tibbetts and that awesome Jeep convertible of his.



Good times.

I remember words to songs...but not lines to movies
I remember to take out the trash...but often forget my cell phone
I remember the ad meeting where I inadvertently said the "c" word (you try saying cut chunk fruit fast), but I forgot the meeting I was supposed to go to at 11:00 AM today

Oh, and now I remember why I wanted to post that music video, but that will have to wait for another time.

...as long as someone reminds me.

Rise and shine sleepyhead.

3:03 AM

I'm awake. Oh, and so's my cat.

Here's one for you...

Absolutely nothing to do with me not sleeping, but then again there's absolutely no reason for me not to be sleeping....so in a very sleep deprived way, it's the perfect choice. Here's some (very) random thoughts and observations early on this Thanksgiving morning.

QVC is currently selling the Stanley Ultrabright Flashlight. Retail value $49.00...QVC price $34.00..BUT WAIT - there's a red line striking out that price! Featured price $29.98. They currently have it floating in an aquarium, why, I don't know, but they do. Oh, they just took it out and....wait for it...they are pointing it right at me. Holy cow, that is ultrabright. I'm typing this in the dark, but the living room looks like it's got a strobe light going on and off. Actually quite distracting. Didn't this guys Mom teach him to not shine a light directly in someone's eyes...that's annoying...but I feel this guy has spent most of his life being annoying. Honestly.

They certainly are excited about this flashlight.

Do you know anyone that owns an accordion? How's that for random?

My cat seemed to be happy to see me saunter down the stairs at this early hour. I'm sure he thought it was time for breakfast. It was not. He's sleeping now. So much for man's best friend. Wait....wrong animal.

Speaking of pets...QVC is now pushing a motion activated rolling and laughing pet. Comes in monkey, pig, and horse. Apparently kids love these. The two adults in the faux living room are actually having a discussion about the magic of laughter and are just loving the pandemonium that the 14 (or so) of these things rolling amongst them is causing. These will make your kids love you if you buy them. At least I think that's what they're implying. Stop the presses. Betty (with the smoker's voice) is now on the phone. I think she just said she bought four of them for her parents last year and blah blah blah. Really? For her parents? Four?

I must be dreaming.

Oh Christ, the monkey just sold out.



....seemed like a good spot for a picture.

3:29 AM. Teddy (the cat), is still asleep. Actually I think he may be snoring. I'm not. Asleep or snoring.

I'll bet those folks involved with the Macy's day parade are already up.
Reminds me of the time I was in the Macy's day parade.
I was third tether on Garfields tail in 2003.




Actually, that's a lie. I've never been in the Macy's day parade. I've never been in any parade, But, I have been to Macy's...and I've read the Parade magazine section in the Sunday paper.

...and speaking of man's best friend (well, I was awhile ago)....Does anybody else watch the National Dog Show that is televised every Thanksgiving?

I didn't think so.
John O'Hurley (from Maine) is the emcee. You know John O'Hurley, don't you?...J. Peterman from Seinfeld.
The smart money is on the Puli this year.

Here's John O'Hurley...I don't know why he has a cow dressed as a baby in his lap


...and here's a puli...




...apparently puli's can levitate...and they have no legs. That's why I think it will win.

Now what?....

Christ... Sharp has added a yellow pixel and 240 Hz to their latest TV. Apparently this really makes the laces of a football stand out in high def. Kid you not. He just said that. Or have I fallen asleep and  I'm now having a nightmare? You think if I called and ordered one now, I could have it delivered in time for the Dolphins/Cowboys game this afternoon?

4:10 AM Time to go open the refrigerator door and stare aimlessly into it.

4:11 AM. ...and now I've got heartburn. Awesome.

Should probably give sleep a second chance.

That tryptophan is going to own me this afternoon.



Happy Thanksgiving...eat your veggies.

Eat me

I like fruit. Do you?
This one might not get your mouth watering, but it will get your foot tapping.

As I type this I'm eating a bowl of cereal with blueberries on top (actually mixed in...it makes me think I'm evenly dispersing the berries that way, but I'm sure some statistician could prove me wrong, or psychiatrist could prove me nuts). Berries make cereal better, don't you think? I mean, cereal's fine...but cereal with fruit is FINE. It's the juxtaposition (you're welcome) of the crunch of the cereal and the juicy sweet with a touch of tart from the fruit that does it.

Let's not forget about some other berries.

The strawberry has to be the king of the berries. Although you can buy strawberries year round from far off exotic lands with mythical names such as Florida and California, we can all agree there is nothing like a strawberry picked right out of the field. The fact that it's such a fleeting season here in Maine probably makes it all the more special. The red ripe, melt in your mouth, lusciousness of a native berry is tough to beat.










Although a nice raspberry comes close. Raspberries are fun and intriguing. Cone shaped...hollow on the inside...a little fuzzy. What's not to love. Except the picking of them. Have you ever picked raspberries? If not, I've got one word for you.

Thorns.


Speaking of thorns don't forget their cousin the blackberry. People often overlook the wonderfulness of this beauty. Sure you can use blackberries for jams and jellies, honey, wine, and they're great in pies and crumbles...but the best way to eat blackberries is popping them into your mouth one at a time. Did you know that Oregon produces the biggest crop of blackberries in the country? Bet you didn't. Bet you don't care either.



Cranberries.
Not so much (personal preference).
Although I have seen cranberries harvested in Cape Cod and it is something to behold. In very simple terms Cranberry bogs (yep, bogs) are flooded...then the ripe fruit gets detached and floats to the top of the water...the berries are skimmed off the top...you buy them at the grocery store....prepare them for Thanksgiving...then throw away most of what you prepared.


But I will admit to liking Cape Cod Chicken Salad, which is, essentialy, chicken salad with fresh cranberries mixed in. Oh, and pecans or walnuts. Neither of which is indigenous to Cape Cod. Go figure.

Yum.


Not sure if that is a glass of wine, or beer, or perhaps urine. None of them I'd picture going exceptionally well with chiken salad.
The intent of this blog was not to prattle on about berries...but that's clearly what I've done. I wanted to talk about fruit....I haven't even begun to talk about pomegranates!

I guess I bit off a bit more than I could chew.

But that's an idiom.

...and that's a topic for another time.

I might be prejudiced. But it's true, I love New England best.

Keep in mind that this was written Mid November....not mid January.

I love where I live.

Am I talking about New England? Well, yes and no. I do love this little group of states tucked up into the northeast corner of the country. No other group of states have a cool moniker like we do. Others try...but they fail.

The Southeast - sorry, that's just geographic. So's the Midwest (what the hell constitutes midwest anyway?)

You've got Southern California, but that don't count because it's only part of one state.

The Bible Belt....but I don't know if anyone can tell you exactly where that is. It certainly isn't a complete set of states, rather, parts of separate states. Besides, that's not even my favorite "belt" in the country. I prefer the Cotton Belt....or the Snow Belt...or even the Rust Belt.

I like the sound of Appalachia...but I don't like the feel of it. Deliverance still gives me the willys.

Am I talking about my state? Well, again, yes and no. Just like New England, I love being stuck up into the farthest most northern and eastern state in the country.

We're unique.

Maine only has one syllable.

We only border one other state.

We've got lobsters...and moose...and lighthouses.

Our state flower is the pine cone tassel for crissakes.

A PINE CONE !!!!!

You know what I'm really talking about? It's my neighborhood. In 15 minutes I can walk to the most famous lighthouse in the world......come to think of it, I can walk to three lighthouses in 15 minutes.

...or to a beach with a view that cannot be beat

or to two bakeries....or three ice cream shops...a liquor store that has great pizzas and italians (yes, italians - look it up if you're not from Maine)....a neighborhood grocery store....Thai food....fresh pasta....art galleries...parks...a surfboard shop...churches...cemeteries...a library...the greenbelt...and did I mention a liquor store. I did, but it bears a second mention.

So that's why I love where I live.

Ask me again....
....in January.

We'll see.

Starve a cold, feed a fever...or is it the other way around?

I took a nap this morning. When I woke up and took a look at myself in the mirror, this is what I saw...



Pretty scary,huh?...and this was after going out in the morning.

I was sick.

I don't like being sick. I'm not good at it. I suck at being sick. I'm not talking terminally ill sick (god forbid).
Scratchy throat, stuffy  nose, head and body aches, fever (don't know, maybe just imagining that) no drive, no zip, no get up and go sick.

Isn't that enough?

If it was a weekday, I might have gone to work, may have left a little early, just enough to infect the office. But it's not. It's the weekend. This is free time...play time...fun time. I had stuff to do and it's not getting done. Unless I do it under the weather, which I probably won't, although I should. Who knows? There's always tomorrow. We'll see.

It's supposed to be nice out, which makes it even worse. Nobody want to be inside when the weather outside is so delightful...especially now that it is at such a premium. How many good days do we have left? A handful...at best. Pretty soon the ground will be frozen solid, then covered in snow. Aside from the mandatory shoveling, the obligatory snowman, and the occasional sledding, I turn into an indoor kitty for the next five months.

That's enough to get me out tomorrow, despite the shape I'm in.

Hide the kids, warn the neighbors...that disheveled bum with the rake in his hand ...it's just Pete.

Can anyone say Nyquil?

I was travelling down the road feeling hungry and cold...

I'm not a good dancer. I think I am. I really do. That is until I get on the dance floor.
In my mind this is how I'm moving....

Anybody else remember this one? I actually had this 45 (once again, for those of you under 30, ask your parents). These guys may not be the best dancers...but they are smooooth...and feeling it...and are having a good time. This is how I visualize myself feeling the music before I actually get up and go make my moves. Actually, if I was one of the Spinners (the Spinners are the band in the video, FYI), I'd probably be the one second in from the left, with the ill fitting pants and the vest that is a little bit tighter than everyone else's. Although, he does bust it out just after the 3:00 minute mark, when they pull the rubberbands out of their vest pockets.

Good times.

So what reminded me , once again, of my ineptitude on the dance floor was at my daughter's dance open house this past Saturday. The parents show up...watch the kids do the warm ups and some routines...they show us a performance they've been working on, then we all go home...oh, except sometimes the teacher gets the parents on to the floor to do some improvisation with the kiddos. Sometimes. This time I thought I was safe because my little swan attends another class (with the same teacher) earlier in the week and at that open house there was no parent dance. So I was safe.

Right?

Wrong!

So...It's not that I worry about the dancing (remember the whole stress angle in the armed robbery story)...I just know I suck. What makes it worse is I have to suck in front of my daughter, who is a good enough dancer to know what's good and what's not. Remember, I'm not.

Time to take the floor...and I bust out my best move. Unfortunately my best move is similar to the Elaine Benes "thumbs out, kick and jerk" move. If you need the visual, here it is...

Oh, and the beauty of this is that her teacher would occasionally stop the music, meaning you froze when the music stopped.

Awkward.

So, I'm up doing my thing, with my daughter, blocking everyone else out of the room, except for the two of us. That actually is the frame of mind I get into everytime I dance...sort of the turtle in the shell, ostrich with his head in the sand technique. "If I can't see them, they can't see me."

Then it hits me. My daughter doesn't care. She smiling, she's moving, she's spinning around...asking me to pick her up, to swing her around. She's reveling in my ineptitude. She's happy that I'm up there with her, not embarrassed by my Herman Munster ginourmous two left feet (Although I don't really have two left feet, I do have incredibly LARGE feet...size 13 or 14, depending on the shoe). She's not embarrassed now...at least not yet, that will come when she's a teenager, and she will be mortified by far more trivial things I do "to her" than dancing in an ill fashioned way. For now,she's just glad that her Dad is sharing with her something that she loves...and that's good enough for me.

She made me feel safe. She made me feel secure. I don't know if she knew, if she did she's brilliant, but either way, she did. Because of her I'm not Elaine dancing to Earth Wind and Fire, I'm Leo Sayer in Long Tall Glasses (note the title of this blog - the first line of this song), although with my shirt buttoned and no gold chain.

So, the moral of this story is a quote from Dr. Seuss...

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind

Love you too.

Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane...

First, from the (in)famous Mad Dogs and Englishmen tour - Joe Cocker with Leon Russell as his band leader

Nobody writes letters anymore. I'm not even sure if people remember how. So for those of you afraid to fess' up I'm going to outline the proper way to write an informal letter.
The sample letter is pulled from a website  called awkward family photos.
Check it out sometime...
It does indeed follow all the rules of an informal letter....although the delivery could possibly be worked on.

Anyway...the how too's of letter writing..
First

In the friendly letter format, your address, date, the closing, signature, and printed name are all indented to the right half of the page (how far you indent in is up to you as long as the heading and closing is lined up, use your own discretion and make sure it looks presentable). Also the first line of each paragraph is indented.


Your Address
All that is needed is your street address on the first line and the city, state and zip on the second line. (Not needed if the letter is printed on paper with a letterhead already on it.)
Date
Put the date on which the letter was written in the format Month Day Year e.g. August 30, 2003. Skip a line between the date and the salutation.


                                                                                                                     300 Uptight Avenue
                                                                                                                      Chillpill, ME 01234
                                                                                                                      November 2, 2011
Salutation 
Usually starts out with Dear so and so, or Hi so and so. Note: There is a comma after the end of the salutation (you can use an exclamation point also if there is a need for some emphasis).
Dear Thanksgiving guests,

Body
The body is where you write the content of the letter; the paragraphs should be single spaced with a skipped line between each paragraph. Skip 2 lines between the end of the body and the closing. (This is where it gets fun)

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

The Mike Byron Family

1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family

1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family

1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family

1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family

1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)

1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Closing

Let's the reader know that you are finished with your letter; usually ends with Sincerely, Sincerely yours, Thank you, and so on. Note that there is a comma after the end of the closing and only the first word in the closing is capitalized.

                                                                                                                                   Sincerely,

                                                                                                                                                                      

Signature
Your signature will go in this section, usually signed in black or blue ink with a pen. Skip a line after your signature and the P.S.

                                                                                                                                   Marnie

So, that's the ins and outs of writing an informal letter.

Then you have to mail it....
Address your envelope. Your address should be written on the front of the envelope in the upper left hand corner or on the back. The recipient's address must be on the front of the envelope, right in the middle. Carefully fold your letter into thirds with the top part of the letter slightly longer than the other two sections. This allows the letter to be opened with ease. Use your envelope as a folding guide by tucking the letter under the flap and folding upward from the bottom of the letter to the line of the envelope. The writing of your letter should be on the inside of your folding so that the page appears blank as they pull it out of the envelope, only to reveal your lovely letter when they unfold it. Be sure to choose both paper and envelopes that are of similar dimensions. Put your letter in the envelope, with the longest edge upward, then seal it, stamp it, and send it off.

Sounds easy enough, doesn't it?

So, let's all go out and write a letter to a friend, give someone a surprise, and keep the postal department in business.
....and let's hope nobody gets a letter from Marnie this year.