Monday, September 19, 2011

If you post a blog and no one reads it, was it really written?

Picture this...
Early morning only one awake in the house. A little groggy, in the bathroom...windows open.

The sound of a lighthouse, deep and long. A second sound, a handful of seconds later...another lighthouse replies, a little higher pitched, a little shorter sound, maybe a little farther away (but then again maybe closer).

The first answers back in the same voice it used the first time. Then the "little" lighthouse, but a little closer in time than before. It answers in it's own good time. No need for perfect timing between sounds. Actually it's the slight irregularity that makes it so perfect.

Before the first lighthouse gets another chance, I pick up the sound of a bell in the background. I imagine it's a buoy, a big one, somewhere between the two lighthouses, pitching back and forth with the rolling of the waves.

A sound that can only be replicated in the ocean. Was it two clangs or four, or the echoes of two that sounds like four?

Then the lighthouses, in tandem this time. The sound perfectly synced on top of one another. More harmonious than anything I've ever heard.

For that brief moment I can appreciate my lot in life. Where I live. Who I am. Why I'm here.
I'm satisfied, and serene.
Things are good.
Everything is clear...I'm at peace.

But it doesn't last. It can't. There's work...deadlines...be someplace at a certain time, oh, wait, is that today or tomorrow? Did I have to be in early today...or was it late, or is that next week..or maybe yesterday. Did I remember what I told myself yesterday I couldn't forget, or did I have to remind myself today about something I needed to do tomorrow. I think there's practice after school, but do I have to leave early or did I arrange for someone else to do it....or is it dance...or am I supposed to go out to dinner after work, or was that Stef, and I have to be home by 5:00..or is that Tuesday, like last year, or do I remember seeing that's now Wednesday this year, if I could just find that paper, or email, or note sent home from the teacher, or text from my boss. ...and aren't there some library books around here somewhere, I think there's one missing, or maybe I never took it out, but meant to...oh, and it's trash day, I should have put it out tonight because they come so early I don't want to miss the truck, and I can't forget I have clothes in the dryer, so I'll have to iron in the morning and I'm sure I have to get in before 7:00 so that means I'll have to get up by 5:30 so I can get lunch made because there's nothing good to eat and I hope there some fresh fruit in the fridge because I can't send her to school with goldfish again or can I...

and on and on and on...

Thank God for the lighthouses.