Kids get a pass. Until they're eighteen.
While we're at it, I'm not that fond of left handed people either. They need "special" scissors for crying out loud. There's an additional batters box for them in baseball. They need their own golf clubs. They complain about ball point pens because they are "pushing" the ball and not "pulling the ball. They have trouble with spiral (and three ring) notebooks. They're always banging elbows with me when I eat next to someone that's left handed. Can openers are a challenge for them. And on and on and on.
Here's a solution. Use your right hand. It's called right for a reason. Because it's the "right way" to do things.
Stop being such babies.
Don't need no left handers around here.
While we're at it, what good do quiet people serve? They never speak up, unless it's to say "I'm not shy, I'm quiet". What kind of society would we have if everyone was quiet? The problem with quiet people is that they think everyone else should be quiet. All the time. I'm all for not talking during movies, soft voices in libraries, and all the other times when being quiet is correct. But there's no need for those people that hang the friendly signs outside the cubes that they work in that say things likes "Shhh, be considerate of others" or "Please remember there are people working here" or some other blatantly hostile messages that are disguised as gentleness.
They seriously don't think that actually causes people to pause in front of their office cube just to purposely have a conversation? It's practically an invitation to stop and talk.
I've often found myself conveniently dropping my cup of coffee outside one of these cubes just so I can shout " Damn, I just dropped my coffee again!" at the top of my lungs.
We know you're working...we're all working. Stop being so passively aggressive.
Don't need no quiet people around here.
Then there's all those health nuts. I get it, be healthy, live a long life. Why should you be able to live a longer life than someone that chooses not to be healthy? You think you're special? Well, you're not. I get it...you ran three miles in the rain before going to bed. Now wipe your feet and get me a beer.
Don't need no healthy people around here.
And how about everyone that needs to "be green" or "go green" or whatever the latest fad is.
I find that discriminitory to all the other colors, and I'm sure you do to.
You paint the town red...not green
You get punched in the arm and it turns black and blue...not green and green.
A coward is yellow....not green
when you (not me) drink too much you blackout...not greenout
Don't need no green people around here.
There.
That should eliminate enough folks.
Now we won't have to stand in line so long to get that chicken sandwich we've been craving.
Peace out.
Love you all...even those that aren't as good as me.
written with tongue firmly in cheek
