...two nights before Halloween and it's snowing. Now that's truly frightening. Good timing for a list of things that have scared me (apparently I enjoy lists...seems to be a common theme through these blogs). This probably goes back to my voracious reading of the Book of Lists that I got as a thirteen year old for the Christmas of 1977.
First, in the Halloween spirit - Hocus Pocus by Focus
Now that is yodeling at it's best...Anna loves that one.
So things that scared me...and , let me add, I don't like to be scared. Not really my thing.
Anyone remember those cheesy documentaries from the 70's that covered things like the Bermuda Triangle, the Loch Ness Monster, and UFO's? Well, the one that got me was "Sasquatch: The Legend of Bigfoot". That was the one that showed the famous footage of Bigfoot walking along this riverbank, then he actually turned and looked back at the person filming him. Are you kidding me?! He saw the guy filming him! How the hell did that guy get out of there alive? But the scariest clip was a scene that showed someone sitting next to a window when ALL OF A SUDDEN, this big hairy arm reaches in through the window. Holy crap! I could not sit next to a window at night that entire Summer. I still remember that scene now. Hang on while I move to the middle of the room....
The Thing at the Foot of the Bed
Out of the thousands of books I checked out at the library as a kid, this is the one I remember the most. The book was divided into six sections - Funny Ones, Scary Ones, Real Ones, Ghost Games, Witch Stories, and Do's and Don't about Ghosts.
Here are some of the Do's and Dont's
I still remember doing the one looking between the ears of my dog, Duke. Apparently pets can see ghosts. I can say that I can't recall ever seeing any myself though....must have been doing something wrong.
Don't know if this book is even in print anymore, but if it is, and you have kids, get to your local library and check it out.
The movie Halloween. I could barely watch this the first time, with a bunch of my friends at Danny Browns house. Danny lived directly across the street from me growing up. I don't know how I mustered up the courage to run across the street after watching this movie at his house. Holy cow did that scare me...that music...chills up my spine. That mask that Michael Myers wore. Creepy. I remember that scene where he stabs someone (into a wall I think) then he sort of tilts his head to look at him.
Here is is, 12 seconds in....I'm not going to watch it myself, if you don't mind..it still creeps me out too much
All of those Peanuts specials. Yeah they seem innocent enough, but haven't you noticed? There are no adults ! Charlie Brown, Lucy, Linus and the rest of them are the original Children of the Corn. Those diabolical little bastards! I'm not sure how they did it...maybe Linus' blanket played a role...Pig Pen's toxic dust cloud...maybe Frieda's "naturally" curly hair wasn't so natural after all, those curling chemicals can be as lethal as agent orange...possibly Snoopy's Sopwith Camel strafed the city. I don't know, I just don't like it.
Spiders. Say no more.
Let's leave it at five, good for you? Good for me.
"Hold on man, we don't go anywhere with "scary", "spooky", "haunted", or "forbidden" in the title". Shaggy (from Scooby Doo)
The moon conjures up mystery and romanticism...melancholy and hope...humor and longing.
It's spooky..it's pretty....it's full and it's new.
It waxes and wanes. Crescent and Gibbous.
It inspires religions...sciences...books...movies...poetry...art...and music, lot's of music.
Let's talk about some of these things (but probably not the religion aspect...just like in conversation, I'll rarely write about religion or politics)
The moon plays a big part in one of my all time favorite movies, "An American Werewolf in London". Loved the premise of this...the plot...the setting..the black humor..the soundtrack. I went to see this with an old friend (sorry, here comes the death part again), Dawn Leighton. Dawn was a good friend that I knew in high school, although we went to different schools and lived in different towns, we worked together. Dawn is no longer with us. Here is an article about Dawn..
That movie reminds me of Dawn, and I guess in a way, the moon reminds me of Dawn.
There's dozens songs about the moon that I love. They all bring me back to a time or a place with fond memories. The first I'll add the video (because I'm all about the video) and add my two cents...the rest, I'll just list.
Moondance - Van the Man
This song, this whole album, introduced me to Van Morrison. This was back in the day when discovering music was just that...discovering music. This was well before computers, google, itunes, and the ipad. You bought the album, you scoured the lyrics (if you were lucky enough to have them included with the album -usually on the sleeve), you got a clip here and there, read reviews in Rolling Stone, saw concert clips, read biographies. Although I was familiar with Van Morrison - I remember seeing him in The Last Waltz, which I saw at the Portland Twin Drive in - which coincidently, was located in Scarborough, not Portland , and the version of Caravan that he performed was , and still is, one of the best live performances I've ever seen (and is probably the clip I should have shown, but sort of off the subject of the moon now, isn't it?), but that movie hooked me on The Band, not Van at that point.
I digress.
This album was my gateway to all things Van which I bought then listened to voraciously...especially the five albums he released from '68 to the early 70's. Astral Weeks, Moondance, His Band and the Street Choir, Tupelo Honey, and Saint Dominic's Preview...don't get much better than that. If you're not familiar, do yourself a favor and get familiar.
...So my memory was listening to this song on a walkman (yes a walkman...anyone under the age of thirty will have to ask their Mom or Dad what a walkman was) during a late night walk back from the other side of town. I was almost home...walking up Rhode Island Avenue...huge sky full of stars...October...last leaves fluttering in the trees and pushing the dead leaves that had accumulated in the street with each step, when the lyrics hit me...
"with the stars up above in your eyes
a fantabulous night to make romance
'neath the cover of October skies.
And all the leaves on the trees are falling
to the sound of the breezes that blow"
..and I thought, "This is perfect, I will never forget this moment, never forget how I feel right now"
And I haven't.
and besides, "fantabulous?"...cut it out.
Ain't music great?
Back on track Wildes, back on track...
So, I've decided to skip the art, and books and poetry and science aspects of what this blog started out as...but I will list a couple of other songs (but not the thousands that exist) that make me think of the moon and love, life, melancholy and the infinite sadness.
Some only have moon references, not necessarily in the title, but the reference is memorable (see the title of this blog). Most you probably know, if you don't google or youtube them, even if you do, take a minute to reacquaint yourself with some of these gems. Who knows, if you discover something, maybe this blog will be your everlasting memory of that song.
Moonshadow - Cat Stevens..."Yes I'm being followed by a moonshadow..."
Walking on the Moon - The Police..."Giant steps are what you take..."
Romeo's Tune - Steve Forbert (see the title of this blog)
Tom Waits has a few - Grapefruit Moon...I'll Shoot the Moon...Drunk on the Moon...Midnight Lullaby...and my favorite, New Coat of Paint..."We'll laugh at that old bloodshot moon in the burgundy sky"
Moonlight Drive - The Doors...."Let's swim to the moon..."
Bad Moon Rising - Creedence Clearwater Revival..."Don't go round tonight..."
Moonlight Mile - Rolling Stones..."Oh I'm sleeping under strange strange skies..."
There's a Moon in the Sky (Called the Moon) - B-52's..."If you're in outer space, don't feel out of place..."
Harvest Moon - Neil Young..."Because I'm still in love with you..."
Here Comes the Moon - George Harrison. Really.
Clair De Lune (Moonlight) - Debussy. Absolutely one of the best melodies ever written
Pink Moon - Nick Drake..."I saw it written and I saw it say, pink moon is on it's way..."
Dancing in the Moonlight - King Harvest. One hit wonder, but it's a good one.
Dark Side of the Moon - Pink Floyd. C'mon.
Buffalo Girls - Jimmy Stewart in It's a Wonderful Life..."Buffalo girls won't you come out tonight and dance by the light of the moon.."
...and a million more.
One last thing.
good night stars
goodnight air
goodnight noises everywhere
Oh yeah....
"I just locked the safe and I don't know the combination".
So I turn around and reposition myself so that everyone is still comfortable with me staring directly down the barrel of that damn gun
and I say to my new friend, "Sorry (still polite), we just locked the safe and NO ONE (I emphasized no one, like there was ANYONE but me) has the combination to open it".
So Genius says, "Excuse me?" (see now even he decides to be polite...you catch more bees with honey than you do with vinegar, right?). Since I just repeated myself he apparently felt like he had to as well (obviously low self esteem issues)...YOU NEED TO GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY IN THE STORE (note the caps on every word now).
Since we seem to be playing anything you can say I can say better, my response is, "Sorry, I can't open the safe"...even I'm feeling a little embarrassed by the lack of rapport the two of us seem to have.
Genius didn't like this...and this is where it gets good.
Genius decides he no longer likes the service desk being between us so he decides to climb over it to get a little closer to me...me being a likable guy and all. Now don't forget the total picture here. Skinny guy, all dressed in black, wearing a full face mask, with a gun in his hand, climbing over the counter of a service desk ...why?...to get his gun a little bit closer to me because, obviously, he thinks I'm lying about the safe situation.
(This , by the way, would have been the perfect time for Bill (or whatever that bagger's name was) to maybe give him a little ooomph when he has climbing over that counter...sending Genius ass over tea kettle, but then again, I don't think he would have successfully have been able to finish peeing his pants if he had...because he had to have been doing something like that or I would have at least remembered his presence throughout this entire episode, which, coincidently, I do not).
Alright, now genius is next to me inside the service desk. He tells me to turn around. "Turn around", he says.
I do.
He puts the gun against the back of my head. I can feel it, Right at the point where the back of your skull ends and your neck begins. Go ahead, take your hand (right or left, makes no difference) and feel that spot I'm talking about.
Got it?
Now, with the muzzle of the gun touching the back of my head he tells me to "put your hands up". Really? "Put your hands up"? Everybody knows "putting your hands up" is the first thing you are supposed to say when initiating a robbery. Amateur. I actually think that when he tells me to do this.
So I put my hands up.
This is what he says and does..."GIVE ME ALL THE MONEY IN THE STORE", but with an added twist this time. Genius punctuates each word by pressing the gun into my skull (or neck, or whatever that part of your body that technically is) with every word he said.
Nice.
So I clear my throat and say, in the calmest, evenest tone I can muster, "I really can't do that. Nobody here can open the safe after it's been locked. Believe me, if I could I would, but I can't". I said it just like you would tell someone that you forgot to grab them that cup of coffee they asked you for...just like that. Then I added for good measure, "You can take my wallet out of my back pocket and take anything I have in there". This was an offer that he opted not to take me up on, which is probably a good thing, because except for my license, a library card, and probably a note I had written myself as a reminder of something I needed to do, I'm sure there was nothing else in there. If he had taken my wallet, that is probably what would have gotten me shot.
Now let me tell you something. If you think you've got pressure in your life or at work...have to make an important presentation at work...have an unpleasant meeting with your boss...have a deadline you have to hit...all that is nothing. Having a gun pressed up against the back of your head and telling the person on the other end of that gun exactly what he does not want to hear is pressure. But that's what I did.
...and somehow, after telling him to reach in my pocket to get my wallet, I had a sense of calm come over me. Somehow I now felt I was in control, not that skinny little runt hiding behind a mask and gun. I also had a revelation. I'm sure Genius and his getaway driver waiting out in the parking lot (at least that what I had envisioned...I never really found out for sure if he had an accomplice) had worked out an ingenious plan that went something like this...
Be at the door when they are closing the store
Get to the place they keep the money
Demand the money
Get the money
Run out of the store
Total time , maybe 90 seconds
Spend the money on candy and comic books
So in my mind, I'm thinking Genius has been in the store about five minutes and things were not going to plan (actually not going to the plan I had devised on the spot) and I thought he was getting a little antsy.
He was.
He told me to "Get on the floor". No way in hell was I getting on the floor. No effing way am I getting on that floor, I think to myself. I get on the floor and he shoots me, I also think to myself.
So with him behind me and the gun still pressed against my head I say to him, "I'm not going to get on the floor" and that was it. I wasn't.
Genius is rattled now. "I said get on the floor"...and although the gun was still on me, I don't remember feeling the emphasis of him pressing it into my skull with each word.
"I'm not doing that".
Now the bastard, I mean Genius, really does not know what to do. Things had clearly not gone as planned. Now he was scared and I could hear it in his voice.
The gun comes off of my head and this is what he says, actually sort of announces, because let's not forget Tori was behind the short glass wall and Bill was standing in a puddle on the outside of the service desk (although for the last few minutes , for me, it was just me and genius), "Nobody moves for five minutes and you won't get hurt". Really, that's the best you got? Christ, you better go back and watch some of those gangster movies for the forties or fifties again and get some better lines.
And with that he bounds over the service desk, takes a quick turn to the right , and sprints out the front door. I watched him, he was gone.
He was gone for less than a minute and a half when Westbrook's finest come barreling in through the front door, guns drawn. Turns out Mickey (do you remember Mickey?) saw Genius walking across the front end after she had handed me her till, bolted up the stairs just to the left of the service desk. grabbed a phone, hid under a desk, and called the police to tell them the store was being robbed. I do not think she peed her pants.
If he had just been in the store for 60 seconds more, who knows what would have happened? Personally I'm glad I didn't have to find out. The outcome would not have been the same. May not have been as pleasant.
After about ninety seconds of them realizing that none of us were the bad guy, they tried to find Genius outside. This is where the store being near the old exit 8 comes in to play (I told you it would). He was literally 30 seconds to the turnpike and had the choice of going either north or south for his escape route. That was the smartest thing he did all night, well, that and not shooting me. He was gone, never to be seen again.
So there were lot's of other details to tell...me calling home to tell my family about what had happened...staying at the store for hours going over every detail with the police...me working the very next night, closing the store again (which to me is a very relevant point...I was at the tipping point of letting this scar me for life, or facing my fears head on and putting it behind me..I chose the latter), going to some therapy sessions with my comrades and on and on and on.
So, next time you see me, think of my calm demeanor and how it saved my life.
...and know I'm one tough son of a bitch that stared down the barrel of a gun and lived to tell about it.
I'm sure no one remembers this but a few posts back I left you with a teaser....something about what would you do in a life or death situation...then I was told by my number one fan (no, not me) that I write about death too much...well, that was a couple of weeks ago, so now's the time to revisit that post.
But first....a semi autobiographical clip
Back to the story. I was once faced with a life or death situation, and unknowingly the decision I made was the right one (right in the sense of staying alive so that I could go on to marry a wonderful woman, have a beautiful daughter, see my oldest daughter blossom into a successful young lady, move to a wonderful neighborhood, etc etc etc, kind of right).
First a little background. The names I'll use will all be fictitious...I'm still in peripheral contact with a few of the people involved and I'm not so sure they'd appreciate being called out. I will refer to myself as Pete (no explanation needed there, is there?) and I might be obtuse about some of other points, but everything you are about to read is the God's honest truth. Now sit back and enjoy the story.
Year was early 90's (Maybe even 90 or 91...believe it or not this is one of those things I said I would be "obtuse" about...either way THE DATE IS NOT IMPORTANT PEOPLE, so give it a rest). Pete was a Produce manager for a local supermarket chain (for most of you, you'll know which one...for the rest of you, take a guess) and was working in a store that has since relocated, but is still in the same town...alright, it was Westbrook. The store used to be just off of the old exit 8. This is an important point and will be mentioned later in this story.
So, part of my "development" was to "learn how to run the store", and the way I was to "learn how to run the store" was to occasionally work as the Closing Manager. The Closing Manager's job is just what the title implies, to be in charge of the store during the closing hours after the store manager has left for the day. So after a little training, I was deemed ready to act as the Closing Manager on a rotating basis. Looking back on it, I don't recall the Deli...or Bakery...or Seafood...or Meat Managers being part of this closing "rotation"...twenty plus years later I think I've finally come to the conclusion that it wasn't because I was smarter than all of them. I now realize it was that they were (by far) smarter than me. Such is life.
...and I think this took place sometime around this time of the year, not that it really matters, but I just thought of it.
On with the story...
So, it's 11:00 PM. There are associates out in the back room of the store unloading the Grocery truck. I'm in the Service desk. The service desk was a decent walk to the front doors at the old Westbrook store...most of the way across the front end. Just beyond the service desk is a door leading to a flight of stairs going up to the managers offices, the break room, associate lockers, etc. There's a cashier just handing in her till for the night (I'll call her Mickey). There's another person working in the cash office which is directly in from the cash office, separated only by a counter top and a partial glass wall. This person I'll call Tori. The last poor soul was a the lone bagger working until 11:00, I'll call him Bill (believe it or not, I've completely forgotten who this bagger was, although he played a key role in the evening's events...he actually could be named Bill, though I doubt it, either way, I'm going with Bill).
I send Bill across the front end to lock the front doors. We're closed
"Bill, can you go lock the doors?", I say in my most professional "Closing Managers" tone of voice.
"Sure thing Pete" Bill says to me (remember , I'm Pete). We're obviously on a first name basis.
I take the till of money from Mickey, turn around, take two steps (behind those service desks are both long and narrow) put the till on the back counter and hand the till to Tory, who begins to tally the money before locking all the cash away in the safe for the evening.
"Thanks, Pete" "You're welcome Tori" We really were that polite...seeing as how it was quitting time, we were all tired, so why not be nice to the people you've been slugging it out with all night (for any of you that have ever worked retail, you'll understand that slugging it out comment).
I turn around again so I'm facing out towards the store now and I've noticed that Mickey has quickly zipped up the stairs to the offices, break room, etc. I didn't think much of it, but in less than a minute I would know why.
So, I'm standing in the service desk, Tory is in the cash office, and Bill comes walking up to the service desk after being dispatched to lock the front doors.
But, Bill's not alone.
Bill has someone with him.
This someone is wearing black gloves (not so odd, because like I said, I think this was in October), and a black jacket (once again not odd, but the black on black look wasn't really doing it for him, although, looking back on it, I guess what they say about black being "slimming" is true, he did look fairly slim), but what was odd was the black mask that Bill's "friend" had on. Actually it wasn't really a mask. it was a black hat, the kind that has two holes cut out for the eyes and mouth, and maybe the nose - the nose part isn't really a key element to this story.
I think you get the picture...and if you don't...
Now do you?
Back to the story.
Bill says to me, "Pete, this guy needs to tell you something" Again, note the politeness.
So, none of this making any sense to me...kind of (kind of?) surreal...I understand what's happening, or is this really happening? Is someone playing a joke on me? Is it a bad (very bad) early Halloween prank being played on me? Is what I think is happening, really happening? But mostly, what the f*@# is happening?
Then the genius in the black mask speaks up...I'll refer to him as the genius, which in case we're not clear here, I'm being facetious calling him genius. What I really think of him is somewhat less than genius, somewhat less than normal, somewhat less than human.
Genius says, from just across the service desk counter, "You need to give me all the money you have in the store." Which was not in the polite fashion that we had thus far been conducting ourselves in. Not polite at all.
Pete says, "Excuse me?" (note the politeness still)
Genius says, "You need to give me ALL THE MONEY IN THE STORE"...the caps are meant to convey the sense of urgency that he was trying to impart to me (oh, and one other thing here, which is a pretty relevant point. Genius then takes out a gun. Now I'm not a gun guy, but it do know it was one of those guns that if someone shoots you with it, you die kind of guns).
He points this gun directly at me. Keep in mind he's standing about six inches from the edge of the service desk...the counter of the service desk is about 18 inches wide...probably a six inch divide.. then there's 18 inches of counter on the inside, my side, of the service desk...genius' arm is what, three feet long...gun is probably six inches long...a little quick math here...end result is, the gun is about six inches from the tip of my nose.
This what I say and do, literally.
I hold up my arm, extend my index finger, and I say, "Just a sec." Really ...gun six inches from my face and my response is, "Just a sec"?
Pete turns his back on the genius with the gun (maybe not the best idea) and says to Tori, "Tori, you need to give me all the money you have back there".
Tori, oblivious to what is happening six feet from her, not questioning my request, not even looking up from whatever it was that had her so absorbed, replies, "I just locked the safe and I don't have the combination".
That sentence I remember explicitly...."I just locked the safe and I don't have the combination"..so nonchalant, so casual, so not knowing that those words might be some of the last that Pete ever hears.
Compare these two videos. Notice any difference between them? Same song, "slightly" different presentation.
and now for something completely different...
Is one better than the other or are they just "different"? I know what Uncle Jeff would say, but I know a few folks that would lean the other way. It's not just in the approach, but also the audience. Different strokes for different folks.
Or sometimes are things just bad?
Who defines what's good and what isn't? What's cool and what's not ? (I was going to say lame, but I didn't think that would be cool). One man's trash is another man's treasure. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What's in and what's out? ...and on and on and on...It truly does come down to your own personal view, doesn't it? Or does it?
Once you realize that everyone has the right to their own opinion and being comfortable enough with yours to listen to theirs, everything gets a little easier. You're liberated to speak up...to take a chance....to write a blog...to enjoy the music YOU like...to watch a movie that You enjoy..to read a book that YOU want to read...to be yourself.
But it's not always that way , is it? You still catch yourself wanting to be with the "popular" people. You still worry about how you're perceived....what you wear...what you say....we're still that kid in middle school that wants to fit in. You want to be cool.
And so it goes.
I'll leave you with this.
Roses are red, mustaches are toaster, this poem makes no sense, pencils.
My god, what a gorgeous day. It's gotta be one of the top five weather days of all time. To be in the top five it has to be a day unexpected by it's gorgeousness....85 degrees and sunny in mid July doesn't count...that's what we expect...although we seldom get it, we do expect it. At least I do (and you should too).
Since I keep a record of these beautiful days (remember,this is a work of fiction, right?...or is it? You'd think I'd know, being the author (and I use that term loosely) and all).
Nice use of double parentheses there...
First ...today's clip...in honor of John's birthday tomorrow (if I get this posted today)...
Anyway, to the best of my memory, here's the top five...totally subjective and these would be top five for no one else...just me.
5) May 4, 1974. Record low humidity. This enabled a nine year old kid (me) to hit a homerun at little league tryouts (ball was carrying well that day). Crowd (of 12) went wild....made me run the bases, just like Babe Ruth (except I'm not left handed, or bow legged, and I wasn't drunk when I hit it). I was the talk of Thornton Heights Elementary school the next week. The dark side of this story is that this was the highlight of my sports career (unless you count that unassisted triple play I turned on my slow pitch softball team...unassisted unless you count the other team being too drunk to run the bases as an assist...I don't). So in a sense, my years as an athlete were in a slow and steady decline after this day.
4) September 29, 1979. Coolest day/night of the Fall. This enabled me to have the stamina to stand up front against the barricade at the first concert I ever attended. Cheap Trick. Cheap Trick at the height of their Live at Budokan run. I knew EVERY word of EVERY song on that album (did I date myself by calling that an album), and though I haven't listened to that "album" in probably 25 years, I bet I still do. So I sang, and sweat, and got crushed against the barricade, and I loved it. I even loved after the show, waiting for my friend Kevin's Mom to pick us up (in front of the McDonalds on Congress Street - that isn't there anymore) and watching a fight break out. The excitement of the big city for a 15 year old boy...ROCK N ROLL !!!
3) June 5th, 1975. Hotter than hell. This predates air conditioning (at least in Maine, and in early June) and too early to have to have one of those monstro fans pulled out of storage yet, that used to have two settings....turbo and jet plane. Went to bed with my window open, no screens in yet. Woke up in the middle of the night feeling like there was "something" in my room. Then it happened. Attack. "What the hell was that?" Attack again. A bat...a vampire bat (I'm sure of it) with a wingspan of nearly six feet...or maybe it was six inches, either way...IT WAS A BAT! ...and I WAS OUT OF THERE! Down the thirteen steps to the first floor by leaps and bounds (this was not much more than a year after my glory trip around the bases, so I still had it in me at this point). I burst into my parents room, the room in which they would be sleeping, but not for long..."Mom, Dad, there's a bat in my room!" My Dad, "Go back to bed". Me, "No. there's a bat in my room...I can't go back up there". My Dad, still not registering, "What?"...and so forth and so on until I finally got them out of bed. My Dad's solution was to close "the bastard" in there, which by the way was much easier said than done...seeing as how when we got the wall to wall carpeting installed a few years before the rug wasn't cut "quite right" so that none of the doors would close tightly...anyway...a few feet of rope and a fews hours later, my room was safely cordoned off to be dealt with the next day.
Dealing with it he next day entailed me having to remove everything in my room and bringing it down those stairs and put it in the driveway...why the driveway, I don't know, but to the driveway my stuff went...and by stuff I do mean stuff. (Literal meaning of stuff is something of little meaning, significance, or worth...unless you're an 11 year old boy). Mad magazines (dozens), paperback books (hundreds), comic books (thousands), baseball cards (millions), Playboy magazines (one)...anyways, you get the picture. All with the constant worry of "that bats in here somewhere". After a few hours, a driveway full of my valuables, a lecture from my Dad (not the "titstick" one, but he would have used it , if it had been his repertoire at that point) and no bat.
To cut a long story short...and to get on to numbers two and one, the bat turned up on the curtain rod in the dining room that night. My Mom screamed, our neighbor Jesse Cook whacked it with a broom (bringing down bat, curtains and all), bat got scooped up, tossed into the woods, and that's the end of that. Phew.
What number was that one again?
2) Today. Unseasonably warm, over 80 degrees. Got the lawn taken care of, the gardens cut back, the Halloween decorations up (well mostly up, still have to do the ghosts in the trees, and the windows upstairs have not been turned into eyes peering out onto Clinton street yet) and ran into three friends at the grocery store.
First conversation (in the Produce department) was about the weather (appropriately enough) and somehow led to stories of swimming at Willard Beach in October....and yes, for those of you reading that don't know where Willard beach is, it's in Maine. Maine with the moose and snow and eight months of Winter Maine. Anyway...
Second conversation was in front of the Meat case with an old friend (old in time of friendship not of age...well, ok, maybe of age too, since we've been friends for so long, how could we not be old...unless, one of us was Ponce De Leon and we had discovered the fountain of youth...but, neither of us are, so let's just stick with old, ok?). She told me I was her favorite "facebook" friend...or I told her she was MY favorite "facebook" friend...I don't really recall, mostly because of my age. Either way , it was nice. Except for the people that were interfering with our pleasant conversation by actually trying to do some shopping. "Sorry, but by me blocking you from buying that bacon could have added at least a few days on to your life expectancy".
Third conversation was in front of the milk cooler with a wonderful friend from England (sorry Andy, my other wonderful friend from England). We talked about everything... ..pumpkins.....dogs......husbands and wives...surgeries......helicopters...writing....radio....Paul McCartney...get the picture? I was in no hurry, seeing as how I hadn't hit the frozen food section yet. Nice addition to a wonderful day.
Oh, and another friend gave me the title to this blog. Strolling the kitties. Doesn't get any better than that.
1) Number one...Numero Uno...best day EVER.
September 9, 2001. Beautiful Summer day in the Fall. Wedding day. Setting - Overlooking Higgins Beach Maine. Officiated by the Dad of a dear friend of both of us. Only other person if the wedding party was my wonderful daughter (only daughter at the time). Me and Stef in front of our closest friends with the ocean as our backdrop...the scene almost matched the magnificence of my bride to be. Nice...simple....perfect. I can't tarnish that day with all the nonsense that I used on the prior four.
So, that's it. The best five weather days of all time according to Pete Wildes.
Let me break it down...great song by Michael Penn, but with slightly obscure lyrics.
That's where it helps to have someone with the musical acumen that I've been blessed with.
First off, familiar with this?
Here's the lyrics, with my comments in red To start with, this is one of those boy/girl stories.... So, she says it's time she goes She's running down to the store..probably to pick up a pizza, maybe a bag of chips, probably some beer. Not really important, what is important is that she has no cash and borrows some from him, promising to give him back the change when she gets back. but wanted to be sure I know she hopes we can be friends. Obviously sending him the signal, "There ain't gonna be no change honey". I think, yeah, I guess we can say I The guy is a little self important, notice how he refers to himself in the first person, actually both singular and plural, so would that be first people? ..or first and second people? but didn't think to ask her why "Where's my money?" she blocked her eyes and drew the curtains ...obviously a diversionary tactic with knots I've got yet to untie. This is a poetic device called an iambic pentameter onomatopoeia alliteration (you'll have to trust me on this one) (chorus) The chorus is the part of the song that is repeated two or three times, depending on the laziness of the writer. It's also the part you keep singing to yourself when you can't remember any other words to the song. Tell me that's not the case with this song. what if I was Romeo in black jeans We all know Romeo, but what many don't know about Romeo was that he is actually the original "Man from Nantucket" from the infamous "Man from Nantucket" poem written by William Shakespeare what if I was Heathcliff, it's no myth Heathcliff was the famous cartoon cat that wasn't nearly as funny as Garfield...and that's saying something because Garfield was about as funny as Family Circus, easily one of the most unfunny comics ever written maybe she's just looking for someone to dance with. Lap dancing I guess we can say I See, it was just too soon to tell and looking for some parallel parallel was used here because it made more sense to rhyme that with tell than it was with smell can be an endless game. whatever We said goodbye before hello Obviously stolen from that Beatles classic Hello Goodbye, which we all know is about Siamese twins stuck in a room full of mirrors (maybe I'll explain that song another time, this one has me almost worn out). my secrets she will never know If she knew, it wouldn't be a secret then, would it? and if I dig a hole to China Which, by the way, we all know is impossible...but, if you fell into that impossible hole to China it would take you two and a half days to fall all the way through I'll catch the first junk to Soho. Typo..He meant SoPo, as in South Portland. The junk he is referring to would be my first car, a 1974 Ford Maverick , which if he had just taken the time to get to know, he would of realized what a lost classic that was and how it bridged the gap between the Ford Falcon and the Ford Fairmont. If you owned a Mercury Comet, it was essentially the same car. (chorus) what if I was Romeo in black jeans? what if I was Heathcliff, it's no myth. maybe she's just looking for someone to dance with. Do I have to explain this again?...please see the first chorus in case you forgot Sometime from now you'll bow to pressure. That's bow as in the intransitive verb meaning "to bend the head, body, or knee in reverence, submission, or shame and not bow as in "bow tie pasta". some things in life you cannot measure by degrees. remember in elementary school when we'd have to watch all of those movies about the metric system...how we had to learn the metric system because that is what the rest of the world used...how the U.S. was going to be using the metric system by 1980...well, 212 degrees fahrenheit = 100 degrees celsius. I'm between the poles and the equator. Which, by the way, could put you in Rangeley Maine don't send no private investigator to find me please unless it's James Garner, who playes Jim Rockford from "The Rockford Files"..remember that one? 'less he speaks Chinese "unless" and can dance like Astaire overseas. no a stair...Astaire..you know, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers Fred Astaire. The greatest American dancer of all time...with the possible exception of Elaine Benes (from Seinfeld). what if I was ... Fill in the blank....what if I was an Oscar Mayer wiener...or I was three inches taller...or what if I didn't know how to swim...or what if I was purple so what if I was... again, fill in the blank, but it has to rhyme with the prior line. Hopefully you didn't go with the one that ended with purple... maybe she's just looking for someone to dance with. "Nobody puts baby in a corner" - Dirty Dancing 1987 (chorus) what if I was Romeo in black jeans? so what if I was Heathcliff, it's no myth. maybe she's just looking for someone to dance with. really, the chorus again?..... So, hopefully you'll hear this song with a new appreciation of the true meaning of the lyrics, giving you a deeper appreciation for the art of choosing the right word and how it adds layers of complexity that you never knew existed before. ...next time we tackle Frank Zappa. You're welcome.
