Pete comes clean

I used to own the album that this song was on.

Seriously.

A few questions...
How did the drummer and keyboardist get in this band? Was it because they didn't have any chest hair, just like their "funkier" band mates? How did they even meet? I don't see them running in the same circles, let alone being in the same band. One of their Dads must have been their manager.
Did the lead singer with the skull cap really get kicked out of the Village People for being "too gay"?
and most importantly...
...why did I own this album?

I wasn't a total loser. I swear. That year I also bought Rumours by Fleetwood Mac, My Aim is True by Elvis Costello, Aja by Steely Dan, News of the World by Queen, and Slowhand by Eric Clapton.

Oh.
And Saturday Night Fever.


Loser.

I remember jumping on the Disco Sucks bandwagon later that year. Those two albums of mine met their demise by some sort of incendiary device in the backyard of Danny Brown. Danny lived across the street from me. He moved there that year from Sheepshead Bay NY. Danny's father was a marine. Danny's older sister joined the Marines. After school Danny joined the Marines. I've out lived Danny.

God bless him...and all the others that fought with him that I did not know.

OK, back at it,

Maybe I can blame it on 1977 being a very strange year.

They discovered rings around Uranus.
(Hope that made you smile half as much as it did while I typed it. If it didn't go back and read it again. Slowly this time. There. See?)


I went to see the debut of Star Wars. First showing. That, my friends, was a big deal to this 13 year old boy. I rode my bike down the highway to get to the Maine Mall Cinemas. I'm sure I did the same thing to go see Close Encounters of the Third Kind... and the King Kong remake... and Rocky.
Well not Rocky. My Mom took me to see that.




Might have been one of the times the State Police pulled over to tell me that no bikes were allowed on the highway. Didn't matter to me. How else was I supposed to get to the Mall to meet my friends at the clock in the middle of the Mall at an agreed upon time so that we could hang out for the day that was set up by calling each other on our touch tone wall phones?



At least I had graduated to a ten speed by then. It had a speedometer/odometer on it. Oh, and a light.

            
Christ.

I went on a road trip with family friends to Cooperstown NY that year. Baseball Hall of Fame. On the way we went to the Bronx Zoo. They were still looking for the Son of Sam at the time. I know that because I remember hearing in on the car radio whilst I was on his home turf. Scared me a bit knowing I was so close to the most infamous killer I had ever heard of. In my entire life. For some reason I can picture hearing this while it was just "the kids" in the car. No adults. At night. We were vey close to being killed execution style ourselves. I just knew it.



...but then again, maybe not.

Elvis died. I remember where I was when I heard about it. I was in a car on Pennsylvania Ave in South Portland Maine. We had just got back from Canobie Lake Park in Salem New Hampshire. My Mom was going to see him the next night in concert in Portland Maine. The thing I remember as much about Elvis' death that day was getting in a mirror maze at Canobie that I couldn't get out of. Helplessly trapped.

I'm not sure which event scarred me for life more, the King's death or that goddamned mirrored maze.


It doesn't look quite as daunting now, does it?
....just the same, Homey don't play 'dat anymore.

Reggie Jackson hit three homeruns in one game to lead the Yankees to a World Series championship against the Dodgers.

Yawn.


1977 was my first year of Junior High.


Good times. Tough times. Wouldn't have given them up for anything, nor would I want to relive them.

Unfortunately I will when my youngest hits junior high next year.

Ain't life grand?

One last thing, contrary to popular belief, I did not have a Farrah Fawcett poster in my locker that first year of junior high.

I had it over my bed.



Stop it.

Much love.

..and remember..
May the force be with you.

A thumb goes up, a car goes by...

...it's nearly 1:00 AM and here am I.
First line of lyrics to an oldie AND a goodie....

There's something that isn't done much anymore.
At least not with the crowd I run with.

Hitchhiking.

Have you ever hitchhiked? If so do you remember when the last time it was?

I do.

I was "thumbing" across town. I got picked up on Broadway, heading towards the side of town where I currently live.

It was late.

I had a twelve pack of beer under my arm.

I wasn't legal drinking age yet.

Oh, and the car that pulled over to pick me up...

...was a cop.



Not ideal.

I haven't hitchhiked since then. That was close to 30 years ago.

There are other things I haven't done in nearly 30 years.

Driven a car without wearing a seatbelt....



Climbed a tree...


Successfully completed a somersault


Listened to a J. Geils cassette in my car..while turning on my high beams from the floor...

    


Plucked an icicle off the side of the house (and licked it)..


Written in cursive..(except for my signature, which is just awful)..



Took more than 30 seconds to dial a phone number...Didn't you hate dialing numbers that had a lot of eights, nines, and zeros (you kids will have to use some brainpower on that comment)...



Held a lighter up a concert.

Old school...


New school...


That's right...that's a cell phone.

That's lame.

New ain't always better now, is it?

That's it for now...have to go brush up on the metric system while using my slide rule and sipping on a frosted mug of A & W root beer.

Peace out.

Let's meander, shall we?

First new post since December 1st.
You'd think that with that much time off, this blog would be insightful, full of wisdom, and close to Pulitzer Prize material.

Think again.

It's the same old stuff it's always been. Why raise the bar this early in the year?

First some Kinky music to start the year off with.

God I love the Kinks.
Almost as much as I liked the last twelve days I've had off from work.
God I love being off from work.

So, meandering....

Haven't written a new post since Decemeber 1st, but I had the highest number of hits in a month since I started. With some cajoling , begging. and shameless self promotion I had nearly 1100 hits last month.

First thanks to anyone that takes the time to read this tripe (and I mean that in the most sincere way possible).
But I know it was because I inundated you all with post after post after post...after post.

The equivalent of shooting fish in a bucket. Well, maybe not. I don't think I know what that saying really means. I don't like that one. I may never say it again...or I might use it a half dozen times tomorrow..who can say? Certainly not me.


Meandering.

I didn't know Santa smoked.


Come to think of it I think I did see some ashes on the empty cookie plate that he left behind in the kitchen.

Bastard.

During the month I took off I went through the process of applying to the website administrator that I post this blog on (Blogger) to run some advertisements. Once I got out of the mindset of "selling out to the man", I thought, "Why not? Maybe I can even pick the establishments whose ads would show up on my site. I know a few local businesses and local business owners that might appreciate it and I could make some cash at the same time".

You see, there is no money in this game the way I currently do it.

It's only done for the accolades.
Except there are no accolades.

So I thought, go for the cash. Hell, Iggy Pop sold Lust of Life to Carnival Cruse Lines for crying out loud.



Where was I?
Oh, requesting ads on my site.
So, I go through the process only to have Blogger send me a note that I had been declined because of my blogs not meeting the "criteria" that needs to be met for them to allow advertising.

I think it's because I like to swear.
And make inappropriate comments about Santa.

Frig them.

What else?
Oh, I've been sledding with my youngest a few times during my vacation.
For those of you that don't live in the Northeast, sledding is where you find a slope that is covered in snow, put something between you and the snow, and, starting at the top, turn yourself into a projectile and shoot to the bottom of said slope.


Unfortunately some parents have not taught their kids proper sledding etiquette.
Like ...
DON'T WALK BACK UP THE MIDDLE OF THE HILL!

This drove me crazy.

God forbid their parents say anything to them like,
"GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY JUNIOR. CAN'T YOU SEE PEOPLE ARE WAITNG TO GO DOWN THIS GODDAMMED HILL BUT CAN'T BECAUSE YOU ARE BLOCKING THEIR WAY? JESUS CHRIST. USE YOUR HEADS YOU LITTLE BASTARDS. Love you"

Any fool knows you go down the middle of the hill, promptly get the hell out of the way (or at least don't lay at the bottom of the hill licking yellow snow) , and walk up the side of the hill. Repeat, the SIDE OF THE HILL.

Anyway , it's the parents fault.


...and I wonder why they won't let me advertise on here.

Enough for now.
So much for this year being any better than last.

Peace and love.

Here we come..walking down the street...

Please tell me that title rings a bell.
How about after watching this?

Those are the Monkees. You know the Monkees, right?
If not, the story of the Monkees is a good one.
One that I'm not going to go into.
Google it.
That's not what this one's about.

This one is about taking a casual walk through my neighborhood and noticing the things that most people overlook because they are too busy doing things like, oh, I don't know, going to work when it's still dark out, coming home in the dark, getting to dance classes, and basketball practices, and soccer games, arranging pick ups and drop offs, and squeezing in dr. appointments, and forgetting friends birthdays, and not visiting family like you should, and cooking, cleaning, decorating, shopping, writing blogs....

I think you get the picture. If not, I'm sorry for you. That was not subtle. You should probably stop reading now, because it's about to go south from here.

Really far south.

So this was what I saw when I actually took some time to take in the sights and sounds of my hood.

Sort of.

There's a couple of new restaurants (can I tell you that I ALWAYS spell restaurants wrong. I'm a decent speller, easily a finalist in a spelling bee, but that word would be my demise) in my neighborhood. You should check them out.

There's the new chinese place (see how I skipped using the word resteraunt....I'm no dummy)



...and I love a nice buffet as much as the next guy..

This place sounds nice...


...and I've always loved the diversity of where I live...


I actually stopped in and tried this place...


The balls, were indeed, very chewy.

It was nice to see people getting their houses ready for the holiday.


I would have helped him but I was to busy taking his picture. Hope he made out ok.

I like the houses that just go simple and classy. Like this.


Actually, that's my house. I'm very proud of it.Unfortunately I had to blow all of those inflatables up the old fashioned way...lung power. I expect to be light headed until next year.

Well, at least someone finally found Tom...


Funny, these streets don't show up on my GPS...




Fortunately I was on the other side of the street


By now I figured it was time to head home.
Much to my surprise I saw my next door neighbor had a new sign on their front yard.


Must be talking about the guy across the street. I feel the same way.

As you can see , it's well worth the time to go out and explore your local hood.

You never know what you'll see.

...so much for getting the month off to a good start.

Much love.
Peace out.

Thumpety thump thump

Another Christmas song post?

Fa la la la la la la la la.
So there.





What is it with Christmas song lyrics?
They are sung by all, but you know what?

They don't make sense.

"Don we now our gay apparel"?
Ok. I guess so...don't know if I actually own any gay apparel, but, 'tis the season so what the hell.



But that's not as bad as the next line from that song..."troll the ancient yuletide carol"

Nope.
Ain't buying it.
Doesn't make sense.
WTF does trolling have to do carols, let alone ancient yuletide ones?

...but I am down with the being jolly. I'm all for jolly. Jolly is under utilized. Maybe jolly isn't socially accepted. I don't know. When was the last time you actually saw someone being jolly anyway?

Ladies and gentleman...Jolly John. You will not know Jolly John if you're not from Maine...or under the age of 25. Neither of those statements apply to Pete.

Does anyone know any good sleighing songs?
I don't.
Perhaps if I was dashing through the snow one might come to me.
Doubt it.

What are jingle bells anyway. Don't all bells jingle? Other than at Christmas does anyone even say jingle?
Let me answer that for you.
No.



That's a funny cat photo, I hear people love funny pictures of animals.
Me? Not so much.

pa rum pa pum pum
Really? Is that supposed to sound like a drum because it doesn't.

Well, maybe it does if your drum is made out of clay.





..and your drumsticks. And yourself.

That song sucks so much that those are the only words I know in the whole song.
What does that tell you?
Doesn't help that it's repeated every other line of the song.
You are forced to sing that line eight hundred and twenty seven times..if you go with the long version.
Tedious.

How come the bumble or Yukon Cornelius don't get mentioned in the Rudolph song?
They were key players.
Hermie on the other hand, deserved to be left out.
Seriously, would you want him for your dentist?
Didn't think so.

This is from the lost episode "Hermie decapitates his first patient".
To this day I don't know why that one wasn't so popular.

Hey, let's go on a sleigh ride!
All of our friends will call yoo hoo.
Well, I guess in a wintry fairy land they might.


Enough already.

I've got to go have a cup of cheer.

Festivus for the rest of us.

tra la la la la la la la

Phil McCracken

Advance warning...this one's going to be juvenile, off color, and possibly offensive. If those three things don't appeal to you I suggest you stop reading this now and go back to complaining about the recent election, or the weather, or time change...or any other event that has recently given you something to bitch about.

How's that for an opening?

The inspiration for this one is from a recent gathering I was at...picture about 10 men, all approaching or in their forties, standing in a driveway giggling like a bunch of ten year olds because one of us mentioned the words splooge and smegma in the same sentence. Let me repeat that. Splooge. Smegma. C'mon, that's good stuff. That's old school. That's fifth grade humor at it's best. So Rich, Dave, Chris, Joe, Kevin, and the rest of you juveniles...this one's for you.



So it got me to thinking about other words or phrases that have the same effect.

Let's get these out of the way right now...

...and don't ever hold a table under the name Sal Monella.

There are some words that are usually pretty innocuous, but at the right time are spot on inappropriate

Beaver

I don't think I need to elaborate on that one..right?

Uranus.

Uranus is bigger than earth.

Seamen.

Everyone's heard the one about the shipwrecked sailors that eventually had to eat their own seamen. Haven't you?

Pianist.

The boy hugged his pianist when he showed him how to play on his organ.

Everyone offended yet? No? OK, I'll keep going then.

Coccyx.

I hurt my coccyx when I fell on the ice.

Breast stroke.
My favorite form of exercise is the breast stroke.


Poop deck.
That one brings me back to 1975, Thornton Heights elementary school. That one got you too, didn't it?


Dictator.
Say it with me.
Dictator.

Oh, and don't confuse this one with cunctator...that one made me smile just typing it.
Cunctator (smiling again) is someone who procrastinates.
Pompatus of Pete is not a cunctator, but he does like to take his time.

Wenis.


This one's a little obscure.
The wenis is that flap of skin under your elbow.
"If you touched my wenis would that be against the penal code?"
Do me a favor and use that one today. Tell someone that your wenis is dry, or something to that affect. Have some fun with it.


Cummerbund
He didn't dance all night because his cummerbund was too tight.



Enough.
What do you say we end this one with a little dignity?



Why bother? At least let's end this showing some intellect..



There...that's better.

Peace out.