Take five

Here's the plan...you click on the video, take a few seconds to soak up the cool vibes, then read the rest of this post. Let's see how the timing works.

Ready?  Go.

A new year is almost upon us. It's a time when people make resolutions. Oh, and then break them. I guess it makes sense to do it at the beginning of the year versus, let's say March 5th, for instance. Fresh year, fresh start. I get it. The problem with these resolutions is that most often they are destined for failure. Who actually keeps these resolutions? Seems like the perfect way to start the year off on a bad note actually...the pressure of committing to something you're not really that committed to in the first place. Destined to failure on the first day of the year. Wouldn't it be better to make , say, 52 mini resolutions a year? Achievable resolutions, maybe even made up on the spot. Here's some examples....

I won't run that red light.


I'll put gas in my car before I run out.

I'll feed the cat.

I'll comb my hair.

But that's not how it works. So here's my take at some new years resolutions that I think may be achievable. Plus, these are so underwhelming that if you break one, no big deal. Feel free to use them for your own if you want to. I won't mind. Really. I won't.

(Are you still listening to Take Five? I'm not going to hold up my end of the bargain if you're not yours. Now go back, start the video again, and reread from the beginning).

2012 Resolutions
Volunteer more.
   Aim low on this one. I'm not talking blood drives, or PTA, or soup kitchens. Instead try something like checking to see if your local Bakery needs someone to do "quality assurance", you know, a taste tester. I'm thinking of offering up my services this year to not just one, but two bakeries this year. I know, pretty ambitious, but you know what they say.."Go big or go home" or in this case.."Get big then go home". If that doesn't work then there's always couch tester.


I will not use lame abbreviations in anything I write
   I'm not talking about abbreviations like "etc."...or "St."...or "Mr. or Mrs."...or "YMCA". I'm talking about texting abbreviations. I'm talking about "jk" or "lol" or "lmao" or "gtg". On reason is because I'm not a 12 year old girl. Another reason is because I'm not a slacker. I don't think typing "kk" is any easier to type than "ok"...seriously that's how "kk" came about. It is apparently that much easier to hit one key twice than taking the extraordinary effort to actually move your finger diagonally that quarter inch to hit that "o" then the "k". Seriously...saving time for what? That takes lazy to a whole new level.


More drinking, fewer hangovers.
   This one is achievable. What I mean is drink for the enjoyment of the act and not for the outcome. Find some good beer, drink it for the pleasure, drink it slow, enjoy it. Then stop. I see myself with a steady intake of alcohol this way. Doctors even recommend it. It will give me something encouraging to say at my next check up.
Doctor, "So, what have you been doing to take better care of yourself this year?"

Me, "Well, I drink everyday now."

Same with wine. Search out some great wine and food pairings. Attend some wine tastings. Sip, swish, and spit....or, since I'm an amateur, I'm going to replace spit with swallow. At least until I get the hang of it.

Watch less television

    Well, that's watch less television in standard definition. I'm plan on going HD only in 2012. Oh, and big screen as well. I'm tired of wasting my time on my 24 incher. Oh, and absolutely nothing in black and white. That's so yesteryear.

Keep at this blog.
   If you keep reading, I'll keep writing.


..and remember ...A New Years resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

TTFN
(See, I just broke one. I feel better already)

Peace and love to all in 2012.
   

Who's the guy that writes those books?

 Christmas Eve Eve...everybody's talking about Christmas. Everybody that is, except me. Not this time. Not now. I've done that. Let's talk about something else.
Baseball or more specifically, the Red Sox...or more specifically, Opening Day...or more specifically. Opening Day 1998.
This was from 1998 (taken from "the bathroom sessions")

See, I used to have a tradition, and I'd have to say it was a good one. Me and a group of buddies (that changed throughout the years, but that's not important) always made a point of going to the home opener of the Red Sox...always...every year...until I stopped. Seventeen straight...1992 - 2009. Yes, that's games, but it's also years. It stopped due to a rain out and my inability to reschedule around work for the following day. Then last year, I just didn't have the gumption...I think because the streak had already been broken.

(This , by the way, was going to be the tattoo I was going to get if the Red Sox ever won a world series in my lifetime...an idea definitely hatched at one of these opening days with my good buddy John. As a matter of fact the first phone call I got after the Sox did win that first championship was from John, within minutes of the win, that went something like this..
John, "You know that whole tattoo thing?" "I'm cool if you don't want to do that anymore".
That and another championship later, we're both still tattoo-less).

So, anyway, back to that Opening day...the year before was bad...we got some good players in the off season (Pedro Martinez' first year) and ended up in the playoffs at the end of the season. but all that's irrelevant. This is what I remember about that Opening Day (bulletized)

• It was against the Seattle Mariners
• It was my best chance -ever- to catch a foul ball hit into the stands. We're sitting in the left field box seats..there's a left handed batter up (don't recall who) he hits a line drive that veers into the seats...coming my way...I'm tracking the ball...it is coming DIRECTLY to me...I stand up...put out both hands...THIS IS MINE...the ball is literally three feet in front of me...when my friend (Dave) just to my left, reaches across with his left hand (because he is holding a beer in his right)...(to demonstrate, please take your left arm, reach across your body, and imagine catching a ball to the right of you. You have to turn your hand over, right? You can't catch anything that way, right? Right!)...and stops the ball inches from my hand. That was stops, not catches. Ball falls underneath the seat in front of me and the guy sitting there picks it up and goes nuts. There is probably video of that guy celebrating getting his (my) foul ball with me hollering at Dave in the background. So close.
• Randy Johnson was pitching against us (us being the Red Sox, not me and my friends). The game is not close.
• About the fourth inning Dave sees Stephen King sitting about ten rows in front of us. He turns to me and says, "Peter, who's that guy that writes all those books?" Me, not being able to answer a question with no logical answer says nothing. My other buddy, John (remember him?), decides to though and he says to Dave, "Tom Clancy?" Dave says, "Yeah, that's him". At which point he starts heckling Stephen King. "Hey Tom Clancy!"... "Hey Clancy".."Hey Tom Clancy, you can't write a nightmare as bad as this!"..."Hey Tom Clancy!"...and so forth and so on. Dave keeps it up until Stephen King stands, turns around and waves to Dave. That's all he was looking for.

• We strike up a friendship with a group of people from Seattle that are sitting behind us. We spend the next few innings having some fun banter with them. Game is not going well.
• About the seventh inning Stephen King leaves the game. Dave hollers out to him. "Clancy's a fair weather fan", "Clancy's a quitter". "Go back to Maine, Clancy, where you belong" and other such vulgarities
• So, bottom of the 9th inning Randy Johnson has mowed us down. Literally. Two hits, two runs, and fifteen strikeouts. Randy Johnson was a badass back then. Never more than this game. Randy Johnson was such a badass that he once killed a bird with a pitch during a game. Here it is...

• Then the impossible happens....Randy Johnson doesn't come out to pitch the 9th inning. We are losing 7-2. Who comes trotting out? Heathcliff Slocumb. You read that right...Heathcliff Slocumb. Really. Heathcliff. Heathcliff Slocumb used to pitch for the Red Sox, but the year prior we traded him to these Seattle Mariners for a young catcher named Jason Varitek. We got the better of the deal. Dave says to me, "Peter, we're going to win this game. Stephen King is listening to this game and is wishing he wasn't in Portsmouth by now. I bet he wishes he could turn around and come back". Dave turns around and says to our friends from Seattle, "You just lost the game". Then Dave starts in on Heathcliff..."You're a bum", "Welcome back to Fenway you bum!", and lets not forget "Sloooocumb...Slooocumb...Slooocumb" (Dave opted to not go for the easier target of Heathcliff - first class hecklers know these kind of things), and so forth and so on. Slocumb gives up a few hits...a few runs...walks a batter...and gets no one out. He get pulled out of the game. Score is now 7-5. Another pitcher comes in and walks a batter. He gets pulled. Two runners on and no outs. Another pitcher. Gives up a hit. He comes out. Bases loaded...no outs...Fenway Park is going berserk. New pitcher. Mo Vaughn steps up to the plate. Mo Vaughn was a big (BIG) first baseman with a big swing. - As an aside - I once had a chance to stand up and ask Nomar Garciaparra one question in a roomful of about 300 people. I asked him who he thought would win in a hot dog eating contest, Mo Vaughn or Big Papi? He smiled and said he didn't know, but he would pay money to see it happen. - Back to the game...Mo Vaughn steps up to the plate....bases loaded....no outs...gets one pitch...takes a mighty swing...and POW...Grand Slam. Red Sox win 9-7. Crowd goes nuts, everyone's getting and giving high fives (even our friends from Seattle), and I'm hoarse for three days. End of story.

• To prove it happened, here's the box score...http://www.baseball-almanac.com/box-scores/boxscore.php?boxid=199804100BOS

Except for this. The next year, at opening Day, same cast of characters. Dave sees Stephen King down in front of us again. Dave hollers, "Hey Clancy, you leaving in the seventh inning today?"

Stephen King turns around, takes off his cap, and tips it to Dave.

Now it's the end of the story.

Mairzy Doats

Christmas is coming , the goose is getting fat...let's get random.
Here's a good one...did it really used to be this simple?

As I type this, a slew of thoughts are swirling about my head...much like my early morning Thanksgiving post
http://pompatusofpete.blogspot.com/2011/11/rise-and-shine-sleepyhead.html
...so here's some of the things I'm thinking of....

remember....random.

The Wizard of Oz. I sat down, put my laptop in my lap (if I'm anything, it's a stickler for the obvious), and turned on the television set. Lo and behold here was the Wizard of Oz, towards the end, just before Dorothy and her crew get the directive to fetch the witches broom..and I thought, "jeez, I wish I had turned this on earlier (by the way, this is me thinking to myself) I missed the parts where she meets her travel companions and they all sing their individual songs about their inadequacies and such." Or something along those lines....I think you know what I mean.

Wouldn't you know, it was replaying immediately following, so guess what I'm watching the second time around? Speaking of second, this is actually the second time I've posted a Wizard of Oz song on a blog...back aways I included a clip of Elvis Costello doing"If I Only Had a Brain" (you can dig for that on your own if you wish, I think one link back to a prior blog is enough self promoting).

I've never done the experiment where you simultaneously time the playing of Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon with the Wizard of Oz. But then again, I no longer do the "kinds of things" that would have made that some sort of priority in my life...but maybe I should do it anyway...but probably without "those kinds of things".

Speaking of music and movies...I once told a group of coworkers (during one of those "icebreaker" exercises, that helps you "get to know your coworkers better") that I knew every word to every song in Grease.
I actually do.

But neither of those are my favorite movie. My favorite movie is Rear Window by Alfred Hitchcock. Now that, my friends, is quality movie making. When I was in high school (which, by the way, was the early eighties) there was sort of a Hitchcock revival taking place...a lot of his films were re-released...I went to quite a few of them, but it was Rear Window that I repeatedly dragged a few of my friends to (does anyone remember that?) If you have never seen it, first...shame on you, and second...what are you waiting for? I will not give any of the plot away, but I will say it is the smartest, best directed, most cleverly filmed movie ever made. ...and even though this isn't one of my DEFINITIVE lists...there will be no disputing this.

Oh and Grace Kelly. C'mon.





ok....random, remember?.....

This time of the year reminds me of my favorite memory of my Nana . Nana was my Mom's mother. My Mother is now Nana...and has been for quite a long time. But I'm talking about my Nana and my favorite memory of her. My parents would go out every New Years Eve (a tradition I have not upheld), I don't remember where, or with who...although I can think of a few who's and possibly, quite possibly, it may have involved the Men's Club. The Men's Club! How audacious is that? But, at the time I thought nothing of it...anyway, I digress. That whole era is for another blog, maybe. Back to Nana.
On New Year's Eve, Nana used to let me stay up to watch the ball drop with her..and it always had to be Guy Lombardo (Google that one you youngsters!).




Let's figure I'm sawing logs by 12:30...so Nana's in bed by what, maybe 1:00?

Here's the memory...back when I was young we always had an artificial tree (again, an opportunity to link to a prior blog, but I'll resist) which we would leave up through the New Year. By the time I would wake up on January 1 she would have that damned tree undecorated, lights off and bundled, taken apart, boxed up ( and this box was literally big enough to put an elephant in), dragged down into the basement, and stored away for another year.
That's my favorite memory of my Nana.

Oh, her name was Maggie. I like that.

Loved her.

Speaking of trees, this year I turned into my Father for the annual ritual of decorating said tree. Actually I became Papa, since it involved my two daughters. Even  though I pointed it out at one point when I realized I had metamorphosed into Papa..I continued to do even after I had realized it. I couldn't help it. Everyone got a good laugh out of it. This is how it went.


The Scene: My two daughters picking through the decorations to put on the tree. Mom participating too. Me sitting in a chair in the corner of the room.
The Plot. My daughters trying to decorate the tree despite the random and vague but frequent directions from me (Papa) put forth from the corner of the room.

The scene goes something like this.

My Daughter(s), holding up a decoration,"Do you like this one Daddy?"
Me (Daddy). "Yeah that one's great".
Daughter(s) turns to the tree, looks for the perfect spot and hangs the decoration.
Me, whilst gesturing by extending my left arm and pointing, "Move that one over a little bit"
Daughter(s), "Here?"
Me (now Papa), "No, to the left and up"
Daughter(s), "Here?"
Papa, "Over. Over some more. That branch right there. No, not that one. One down. Over. Over. Up. Nope, next one. That one. Perfect."
Repeat 12 times.

Ain't getting old a kick in the pants?

Second showing of the Wizard is almost done, so I shall follow suit and be almost done as well.

I'll leave you with this...
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne.

...whatever the hell that means....

Happy Kringle, despite this

My last post was
THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONGS OF ALL TIME.

http://pompatusofpete.blogspot.com/2011/12/id-like-to-teach-world-to-sing.html

This one wasn't on it, but if I hadn't been falling asleep towards the end of writing it I would have gone from making a list of seven to a list of eight.

Not everybody's taste, but it surely is mine...and remember, there's no debating the list...because it's definitive.

Anyway, I said my next post was going to be the worst Christmas songs of all time, so without further ado, is
THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE WORST CHRISTMAS SONGS OF ALL TIME

7) Tie. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reggae and Wonderful Christmastime.
   Paul McCartney
   It is almost (almost) sacrilegious for me to say something negative about a member of my favorite band. Sorry Sir Paul. These aren't good. Rudolph is 1) An instrumental....and 2) Not Reggae. I don't even know what the instrument is. Maybe one of those saws that you bend and play with a bow? Beats the hell out of me.

...and Wonderful Christmastime. This one sounds like Paul just got a synthesizer for an early Christmas present,...and didn't know how to use it yet. Oh, and here's some sample lyrics..
Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding
oo-oo-oo-oo
oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
doo-doo,doo-doo, doo-d-doodoo
Actually, maybe Linda wrote the lyrics. Even Ringo's Christmas songs are better than this. Try to tell me with a straight face that you'd rather be at the Christmas party in this video instead of the one in Dylan's video. I won't believe you....and I will disregard any future opinion of yours as well.

6) Little Drummer Boy

Really? Pa rum pum pum? What kind of drum sounds like pa rum pum pum? I don't remember any drumming in the Gift of the Magi...oh, wait a minute, wrong reference, that's O. Henry. Now that's a story..here you go, something to take your mind of this bad, bad music http://www.online-literature.com/donne/1014/

According to this poor excuse for a song, the little drummer boy didn't have anything to give baby Jesus, so he played him a song on his drum. This made baby Jesus smile. I think more likely it was gas.

Oh, and I'd give the Christmas special a D...easily three grades below Rudolph, even worse than Frosty the Snowman, about on par with Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol.

The song starts about 1:30 in...I don't blame you if you don't make it that far

5) Dominick the Donkey

  Lou Monte

Jing a de jing...Hee haw hee haw. The Italian Christmas Donkey? I ain't picking up what he's laying down. ..and if it's an Italian Christmas song, how come the only people I know that like it are from Biddeford?

4) Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer
  Elmo and Patsy
Not funny. It goes something like this.
Grandma drinks to much "eggnog"
Grandma stumbles out of the house to get her "medication"
Grandma gets killed by Santa Claus.
Grandpa watches football, drinks, and plays cards the next day.
Like I said, not funny.
We're smarter than this.

3). Do They Know it's Christmas(Feed the World)

   Band Aid

Hey, I'm not knocking the cause. I'm for feeding starving children in Ethiopia as much as the next guy. I'm knocking the song. A bunch of 80's British "rock" stars got together...and I use that term loosely. David Bowie actually recorded his part and mailed it in. Literally. Oh, and the lead singer from Frankie Goes to Hollywood (Frankie Goes to Hollywood, for Christ sakes) was so committed to the cause that he recorded his part over the phone. Did you read what I just wrote? OVER THE PHONE. What that hell was he too busy doing? Cleaning Freddie Mercury's underwear? Even Bono, who I'm a fan of (well, a fan of his band) was given a line to sing, which to me, even 27 years later, I can't figure how it can be deemed charitable. In response to the previous line about "the Christmas bells in Africa being clanging chimes of doom", or something equally horrific and tragic...Bono shouts out "Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you!" WTF is that all about? He's glad it's people starving in Africa and not somebody he knows? That's what he's saying, isn't it?

Here it is...get your big hair wigs out 

2) The Christmas Shoes

    Newsong

I can't say anything about this one without being offensive. So I won't,

Just horrible.

Finally...the top (or bottom) song in

THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE WORST CHRISTMAS SONGS OF ALL TIME

1). Last Christmas

   Wham!

I'm in my car the other day travelling with a co worker. My co worker is a few years younger than me, happily married, two kids, from upstate Maine, hunts, fishes,chops his own firewood... (I'm painting a picture here).

So with no prompting (no radio)

This is how it goes...

He starts singing..

"Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day you gave it away...."

Me, "Stop that."

Him, "What?"

Me,"Is that Wham your singing?"

Him, "I guess so."

Me, "You cannot sing that shit in my car. It's not allowed."

He chuckles.

Me, "I mean it. Get out of my car."

I pull over.

He gets out in shame.

He starts walking.

I drive off.

This was in Albany NY. I haven't seen him since. He's probably still walking. He deserved it.

So that's it...
THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE WORST CHRISTMAS SONGS OF ALL TIME.

I've gotta go play some Foghat.....

Peace.

I'd like to teach the world to sing...

Anybody remember this one?

Wasn't it originally a Christmas commercial? I thought it was, but maybe not...or maybe it was remade years later as a Christmas commercial. For some reason I remember this song then a pull back (or fade back, or some such thing...you know, zooming out) and the singers were arranged like a Christmas tree, standing on the side of a hill. The remake is the most probable scenario, seeing as how original ideas for commercials are very few and far between.

This blog isn't about Coke, this is about Christmas songs, or more pointedly, the best Christmas songs. This is only my opinion, but it is 100% accurate. There will be no debating this list, because the name of this list is
THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONGS OF ALL TIME.

Although if I had to make this list again tomorrow it would probably be different (besides it gives me another opportunity to create another list, which if you remember , is one of my favorite things)...to refresh your memory http://pompatusofpete.blogspot.com/2011/10/bite-me.html

so, without further ado
THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE BEST CHRISTMAS SONGS OF ALL TIME
(the top seven, because no one does the top seven of anything....in ascending order)

7) Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
   Best version is by Darlene Love and is on the album (yes, album) A Christmas Gift For You From Phil Spector. This might be my favorite Christmas album (yes, album) of all time. This was Phil Spector at his best...  Phil Spector and his famous "wall of sound"..Phil Spector that produced all those great girl group albums of the sixties, and All Things Must Pass (George Harrison), and Imagine (John Lennon). Not the Phil Spector that is the freak doing time for torturing and killing that model late night in his mansion a few years ago.
Although, by all accounts he was "an eccentric genius" when he was making those great albums.

Anyway...Darlene Love

6) God Rest Ye Merry Gentleman/We Three Kings
      I like this version by Barenaked Ladies and Sarah McLachlan. This is a very clever band and I love how they seamlessly weave these two classics together, apparently God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen is the oldest Christmas song still in existence (wow, a little serious there Pete...let's bring it down a notch). I think the Barenaked Ladies are wicked smart and I think Sarah McLachlan has a great voice, oh and they're both Canadians. Not a great video, but this is the version.

5) River
      Speaking of Canadians, Joni Mitchell. Joni, Joni, Joni. She was IT for singer/songwriters of the seventies, in my opinion (which, in this case, is 100% completely, without a doubt, spot on accurate. Trust me.). This clip is just the song with lyrics. Wouldn't be a better way to show this one, listen to the song, follow along to the lyrics, and paint the picture in your mind.

"You tried hard to help me
You put me at ease.
You loved me so naughty
It made me weak in the knees"

C'mon. That's not even fair. If I had come up with something like that I'd be content to never write again knowing I had come up with something so brilliant.

Oh, and even though the word Christmas is just mentioned twice (actually the same one line repeated at the beginning and the end of the song) it is , most definitely a Christmas song. Enjoy this one.

4) Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow.
     Dean Martin's version is the best. Even though I don't smoke or drink (well, ok, I drink a little bit, but just for sport, not for keeps), I can picture this being sung with a cigarette in one hand and some kind of drink, on the rocks, in the other. I like the simple rhymes as well...frightful-delightful...stopping-popping...dying-good bying (especially love that one). I couldn't find a great video for this one so I was going to post Dean Martin doing a different (non Christmas) song, but in the spirit of the holidays, here it is. Close your eyes, picture being snowbound with the one you love, and enjoy.

3) Skating
    Vince Gauraldi Trio. Vince Gauraldi kicks some Jazz ass. This is another of my favorite Christmas albums (hey kids, there's that word again!). For those of you unfamiliar with Vince, the name of the album is "A Charlie Brown Christmas". That's right, that Charlie Brown. While most would pick the song "Linus and Lucy", you know the one all the kids dance to...


...but Skating really brings the whole feel of that Christmas classic to you immediately...those extended piano runs...the strong bass line...and the drum brush strokes.

Tell me I'm wrong...

Almost done

2) Blue Christmas
    Elvis. Wouldn't include this with every list, but it's Anna's favorite this year, which she informs me of every time we get in the car and it comes on..
Anna, "Daddy"
Me, "What sweetie?"
Anna, "Is this Blue Christmas?"
Me,"Yup"
Anna, "By Elvis?"
Me, "Yup"
Anna, "This one's my favorite"
Me, "I know".....and you know, I can't blame her...it is Elvis for crying out loud.

1) You didn't think I'd ever get here did you?
   Happy Xmas (War is Over)
     John Lennon, Christmas, Peace, Love. Well else could you ask for? What else could you want?
........and so this is Christmas, I hope you have fun.The near and the dear ones, the old and the young.

That's it for now...
....next time THE DEFINITIVE LIST OF THE WORST CHRISTMAS SONGS OF ALL TIME

did you say take a right at the light and keep going straight until night

...Not sure where this one is going to go.
But I did always like this one...

There was actually a guy that moved like this at Bubba's last night. Except he was older, and whiter, and a little bigger, he didn't have much hair, and not nearly as talented, (and I'm not talking about me...this time) but hey...at least he was out there.

Remember this? http://pompatusofpete.blogspot.com/2011/11/i-was-travelling-down-road-feeling.html

...but that's not what I want to talk about

This is what I'm going to talk about.

Christmas lights.

Seems like I've noticed a lot of Christmas lights this year. Anyone else? If not, notice tonight if you're out after dark...or on your way home from work tomorrow, when it will surely be dark out. I've noticed some houses on my usual route home from work lit up that I don't recall seeing before. It's nice...it's even nicer with some snow (which, by they way, I promise this will be the only time I say something favorable about snow..ever...or, at least until the next time). I like it...puts me in the Christmas spirit, or if not in the Christmas spirit, then at least the Winter spirit...which is a necessity here in Maine, where Winter starts October 12th and ends some time after the Opening Day of baseball season.

Like with all things, it doesn't matter what you do in regard to decorating with lights, just that you at least do it.
There's a guy on the next street over that does his chimney on the top of his house in lights..and that's all...kind of classy.

Unlike this...



but at least he did something.

I love the lights in downtown Portland done by Pandora Lacasse...for those of you "from away" here's a few of them...
  

Although I noticed there were none at Deering Oaks this year...unless someone forgot to turn them on this year.
This is what the Oaks looked like last night about midnight (shot with my cell phone camera)


Not as nice, is it?

Damn, I've got to jump in the shower and go pick up Anna Banana...will have to finish this later.

By the way, my house has just been commissioned by the Coast Guard as the 64th active lighthouse on the coast of Maine


Gotta go...peace out.

Sometimes I....No, I don't.

There's a reason I'm posting this video...



...but , for the life of me, I forget what the reason was.

But, that reminds me of something else I can bore you with. My memory. Actually, my lack of memory.
I have a horrible memory. The worst. My memory is so bad it's fairly legendary for people that know me (or pretend to know me...if I don't know them, can they know me?)...and maddening for the people that depend on me to remember things...or even worse, expect me to remind them of things that can't be forgot. Birthdays...appointments...assignments....details in general...I'm not your guy. Sorry.

What reminded me today of my bad memory was running into someone in a store this afternoon. I was waiting to meet a few other people (that I did know, I swear) and a woman with her son walks past me, stops, turns around, and says, "Peter?"

So, naturally, I say, "Hey!, how are you?"...all the while having no idea who this person is..but this was going to buy me some time. Obviously it had been some time since I had seen this person, by the way she said my name (you noticed the question mark, right?)...so I had that going for me. I thought (for a brief second)....I might actually come up with this one.

Her..."I'm good. How have you been?"


Me.."Good, good" "It's been a long time, hasn't it?" (I felt safe with this one...even I can remember people by sight at least, in my recent past...not their names, mind you, but at least a familiar face...and this one was not registering).
....five minutes later, after much joking, and catching up, good conversation and smiles all around, she went on her way, and I, mine.

I still don't know who she was. Never will.

...what was I talking about again?

Oh yeah, my memory.

It's funny. Many things I write about are from the past. Maybe it's "Pete's version" of the past? Perhaps they didn't really happen that way....although I swear they're true...the robbery, my homerun at little league tryouts, the bat in my room (I did write about all of these things, didn't I?)...All true. If it's not true, I'll admit it...like being in the Macy's day parade.

Maybe my memory's not truly bad...


...maybe it's just selective.

I don't remember what I had for dinner last Tuesday, but I do remember my pinewood derby car that didn't go down the track because I used nails in the wheels instead of an axle (don't you forget...I'm not very mechanical)


I don't remember my oldest brother's birthday, but I do remember the two of us going into the woods of Sunset Park to chop down the first real Christmas tree I ever had as a kid, strapping it to the back of his Triumph Spitfire and bringing it back to my parents house...picture this with a tree on it going down New York Avenue with two proud lumberjacks in the car


I don't remember what the last song I heard on the radio in my car was, but I do remember buying Joe's Garage Act 1 (Frank Zappa)..More Songs About Buildings and Food (Talking Heads)...and Get the Knack (yep , the Knack...you know My Sharona, don't you? Sure you do) the same Saturday morning at Recordland on Congress Street, downtown Portland, with Ron Tibbetts and that awesome Jeep convertible of his.



Good times.

I remember words to songs...but not lines to movies
I remember to take out the trash...but often forget my cell phone
I remember the ad meeting where I inadvertently said the "c" word (you try saying cut chunk fruit fast), but I forgot the meeting I was supposed to go to at 11:00 AM today

Oh, and now I remember why I wanted to post that music video, but that will have to wait for another time.

...as long as someone reminds me.

Rise and shine sleepyhead.

3:03 AM

I'm awake. Oh, and so's my cat.

Here's one for you...

Absolutely nothing to do with me not sleeping, but then again there's absolutely no reason for me not to be sleeping....so in a very sleep deprived way, it's the perfect choice. Here's some (very) random thoughts and observations early on this Thanksgiving morning.

QVC is currently selling the Stanley Ultrabright Flashlight. Retail value $49.00...QVC price $34.00..BUT WAIT - there's a red line striking out that price! Featured price $29.98. They currently have it floating in an aquarium, why, I don't know, but they do. Oh, they just took it out and....wait for it...they are pointing it right at me. Holy cow, that is ultrabright. I'm typing this in the dark, but the living room looks like it's got a strobe light going on and off. Actually quite distracting. Didn't this guys Mom teach him to not shine a light directly in someone's eyes...that's annoying...but I feel this guy has spent most of his life being annoying. Honestly.

They certainly are excited about this flashlight.

Do you know anyone that owns an accordion? How's that for random?

My cat seemed to be happy to see me saunter down the stairs at this early hour. I'm sure he thought it was time for breakfast. It was not. He's sleeping now. So much for man's best friend. Wait....wrong animal.

Speaking of pets...QVC is now pushing a motion activated rolling and laughing pet. Comes in monkey, pig, and horse. Apparently kids love these. The two adults in the faux living room are actually having a discussion about the magic of laughter and are just loving the pandemonium that the 14 (or so) of these things rolling amongst them is causing. These will make your kids love you if you buy them. At least I think that's what they're implying. Stop the presses. Betty (with the smoker's voice) is now on the phone. I think she just said she bought four of them for her parents last year and blah blah blah. Really? For her parents? Four?

I must be dreaming.

Oh Christ, the monkey just sold out.



....seemed like a good spot for a picture.

3:29 AM. Teddy (the cat), is still asleep. Actually I think he may be snoring. I'm not. Asleep or snoring.

I'll bet those folks involved with the Macy's day parade are already up.
Reminds me of the time I was in the Macy's day parade.
I was third tether on Garfields tail in 2003.




Actually, that's a lie. I've never been in the Macy's day parade. I've never been in any parade, But, I have been to Macy's...and I've read the Parade magazine section in the Sunday paper.

...and speaking of man's best friend (well, I was awhile ago)....Does anybody else watch the National Dog Show that is televised every Thanksgiving?

I didn't think so.
John O'Hurley (from Maine) is the emcee. You know John O'Hurley, don't you?...J. Peterman from Seinfeld.
The smart money is on the Puli this year.

Here's John O'Hurley...I don't know why he has a cow dressed as a baby in his lap


...and here's a puli...




...apparently puli's can levitate...and they have no legs. That's why I think it will win.

Now what?....

Christ... Sharp has added a yellow pixel and 240 Hz to their latest TV. Apparently this really makes the laces of a football stand out in high def. Kid you not. He just said that. Or have I fallen asleep and  I'm now having a nightmare? You think if I called and ordered one now, I could have it delivered in time for the Dolphins/Cowboys game this afternoon?

4:10 AM Time to go open the refrigerator door and stare aimlessly into it.

4:11 AM. ...and now I've got heartburn. Awesome.

Should probably give sleep a second chance.

That tryptophan is going to own me this afternoon.



Happy Thanksgiving...eat your veggies.

Eat me

I like fruit. Do you?
This one might not get your mouth watering, but it will get your foot tapping.

As I type this I'm eating a bowl of cereal with blueberries on top (actually mixed in...it makes me think I'm evenly dispersing the berries that way, but I'm sure some statistician could prove me wrong, or psychiatrist could prove me nuts). Berries make cereal better, don't you think? I mean, cereal's fine...but cereal with fruit is FINE. It's the juxtaposition (you're welcome) of the crunch of the cereal and the juicy sweet with a touch of tart from the fruit that does it.

Let's not forget about some other berries.

The strawberry has to be the king of the berries. Although you can buy strawberries year round from far off exotic lands with mythical names such as Florida and California, we can all agree there is nothing like a strawberry picked right out of the field. The fact that it's such a fleeting season here in Maine probably makes it all the more special. The red ripe, melt in your mouth, lusciousness of a native berry is tough to beat.










Although a nice raspberry comes close. Raspberries are fun and intriguing. Cone shaped...hollow on the inside...a little fuzzy. What's not to love. Except the picking of them. Have you ever picked raspberries? If not, I've got one word for you.

Thorns.


Speaking of thorns don't forget their cousin the blackberry. People often overlook the wonderfulness of this beauty. Sure you can use blackberries for jams and jellies, honey, wine, and they're great in pies and crumbles...but the best way to eat blackberries is popping them into your mouth one at a time. Did you know that Oregon produces the biggest crop of blackberries in the country? Bet you didn't. Bet you don't care either.



Cranberries.
Not so much (personal preference).
Although I have seen cranberries harvested in Cape Cod and it is something to behold. In very simple terms Cranberry bogs (yep, bogs) are flooded...then the ripe fruit gets detached and floats to the top of the water...the berries are skimmed off the top...you buy them at the grocery store....prepare them for Thanksgiving...then throw away most of what you prepared.


But I will admit to liking Cape Cod Chicken Salad, which is, essentialy, chicken salad with fresh cranberries mixed in. Oh, and pecans or walnuts. Neither of which is indigenous to Cape Cod. Go figure.

Yum.


Not sure if that is a glass of wine, or beer, or perhaps urine. None of them I'd picture going exceptionally well with chiken salad.
The intent of this blog was not to prattle on about berries...but that's clearly what I've done. I wanted to talk about fruit....I haven't even begun to talk about pomegranates!

I guess I bit off a bit more than I could chew.

But that's an idiom.

...and that's a topic for another time.

I might be prejudiced. But it's true, I love New England best.

Keep in mind that this was written Mid November....not mid January.

I love where I live.

Am I talking about New England? Well, yes and no. I do love this little group of states tucked up into the northeast corner of the country. No other group of states have a cool moniker like we do. Others try...but they fail.

The Southeast - sorry, that's just geographic. So's the Midwest (what the hell constitutes midwest anyway?)

You've got Southern California, but that don't count because it's only part of one state.

The Bible Belt....but I don't know if anyone can tell you exactly where that is. It certainly isn't a complete set of states, rather, parts of separate states. Besides, that's not even my favorite "belt" in the country. I prefer the Cotton Belt....or the Snow Belt...or even the Rust Belt.

I like the sound of Appalachia...but I don't like the feel of it. Deliverance still gives me the willys.

Am I talking about my state? Well, again, yes and no. Just like New England, I love being stuck up into the farthest most northern and eastern state in the country.

We're unique.

Maine only has one syllable.

We only border one other state.

We've got lobsters...and moose...and lighthouses.

Our state flower is the pine cone tassel for crissakes.

A PINE CONE !!!!!

You know what I'm really talking about? It's my neighborhood. In 15 minutes I can walk to the most famous lighthouse in the world......come to think of it, I can walk to three lighthouses in 15 minutes.

...or to a beach with a view that cannot be beat

or to two bakeries....or three ice cream shops...a liquor store that has great pizzas and italians (yes, italians - look it up if you're not from Maine)....a neighborhood grocery store....Thai food....fresh pasta....art galleries...parks...a surfboard shop...churches...cemeteries...a library...the greenbelt...and did I mention a liquor store. I did, but it bears a second mention.

So that's why I love where I live.

Ask me again....
....in January.

We'll see.

Starve a cold, feed a fever...or is it the other way around?

I took a nap this morning. When I woke up and took a look at myself in the mirror, this is what I saw...



Pretty scary,huh?...and this was after going out in the morning.

I was sick.

I don't like being sick. I'm not good at it. I suck at being sick. I'm not talking terminally ill sick (god forbid).
Scratchy throat, stuffy  nose, head and body aches, fever (don't know, maybe just imagining that) no drive, no zip, no get up and go sick.

Isn't that enough?

If it was a weekday, I might have gone to work, may have left a little early, just enough to infect the office. But it's not. It's the weekend. This is free time...play time...fun time. I had stuff to do and it's not getting done. Unless I do it under the weather, which I probably won't, although I should. Who knows? There's always tomorrow. We'll see.

It's supposed to be nice out, which makes it even worse. Nobody want to be inside when the weather outside is so delightful...especially now that it is at such a premium. How many good days do we have left? A handful...at best. Pretty soon the ground will be frozen solid, then covered in snow. Aside from the mandatory shoveling, the obligatory snowman, and the occasional sledding, I turn into an indoor kitty for the next five months.

That's enough to get me out tomorrow, despite the shape I'm in.

Hide the kids, warn the neighbors...that disheveled bum with the rake in his hand ...it's just Pete.

Can anyone say Nyquil?

I was travelling down the road feeling hungry and cold...

I'm not a good dancer. I think I am. I really do. That is until I get on the dance floor.
In my mind this is how I'm moving....

Anybody else remember this one? I actually had this 45 (once again, for those of you under 30, ask your parents). These guys may not be the best dancers...but they are smooooth...and feeling it...and are having a good time. This is how I visualize myself feeling the music before I actually get up and go make my moves. Actually, if I was one of the Spinners (the Spinners are the band in the video, FYI), I'd probably be the one second in from the left, with the ill fitting pants and the vest that is a little bit tighter than everyone else's. Although, he does bust it out just after the 3:00 minute mark, when they pull the rubberbands out of their vest pockets.

Good times.

So what reminded me , once again, of my ineptitude on the dance floor was at my daughter's dance open house this past Saturday. The parents show up...watch the kids do the warm ups and some routines...they show us a performance they've been working on, then we all go home...oh, except sometimes the teacher gets the parents on to the floor to do some improvisation with the kiddos. Sometimes. This time I thought I was safe because my little swan attends another class (with the same teacher) earlier in the week and at that open house there was no parent dance. So I was safe.

Right?

Wrong!

So...It's not that I worry about the dancing (remember the whole stress angle in the armed robbery story)...I just know I suck. What makes it worse is I have to suck in front of my daughter, who is a good enough dancer to know what's good and what's not. Remember, I'm not.

Time to take the floor...and I bust out my best move. Unfortunately my best move is similar to the Elaine Benes "thumbs out, kick and jerk" move. If you need the visual, here it is...

Oh, and the beauty of this is that her teacher would occasionally stop the music, meaning you froze when the music stopped.

Awkward.

So, I'm up doing my thing, with my daughter, blocking everyone else out of the room, except for the two of us. That actually is the frame of mind I get into everytime I dance...sort of the turtle in the shell, ostrich with his head in the sand technique. "If I can't see them, they can't see me."

Then it hits me. My daughter doesn't care. She smiling, she's moving, she's spinning around...asking me to pick her up, to swing her around. She's reveling in my ineptitude. She's happy that I'm up there with her, not embarrassed by my Herman Munster ginourmous two left feet (Although I don't really have two left feet, I do have incredibly LARGE feet...size 13 or 14, depending on the shoe). She's not embarrassed now...at least not yet, that will come when she's a teenager, and she will be mortified by far more trivial things I do "to her" than dancing in an ill fashioned way. For now,she's just glad that her Dad is sharing with her something that she loves...and that's good enough for me.

She made me feel safe. She made me feel secure. I don't know if she knew, if she did she's brilliant, but either way, she did. Because of her I'm not Elaine dancing to Earth Wind and Fire, I'm Leo Sayer in Long Tall Glasses (note the title of this blog - the first line of this song), although with my shirt buttoned and no gold chain.

So, the moral of this story is a quote from Dr. Seuss...

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind

Love you too.

Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane...

First, from the (in)famous Mad Dogs and Englishmen tour - Joe Cocker with Leon Russell as his band leader

Nobody writes letters anymore. I'm not even sure if people remember how. So for those of you afraid to fess' up I'm going to outline the proper way to write an informal letter.
The sample letter is pulled from a website  called awkward family photos.
Check it out sometime...
It does indeed follow all the rules of an informal letter....although the delivery could possibly be worked on.

Anyway...the how too's of letter writing..
First

In the friendly letter format, your address, date, the closing, signature, and printed name are all indented to the right half of the page (how far you indent in is up to you as long as the heading and closing is lined up, use your own discretion and make sure it looks presentable). Also the first line of each paragraph is indented.


Your Address
All that is needed is your street address on the first line and the city, state and zip on the second line. (Not needed if the letter is printed on paper with a letterhead already on it.)
Date
Put the date on which the letter was written in the format Month Day Year e.g. August 30, 2003. Skip a line between the date and the salutation.


                                                                                                                     300 Uptight Avenue
                                                                                                                      Chillpill, ME 01234
                                                                                                                      November 2, 2011
Salutation 
Usually starts out with Dear so and so, or Hi so and so. Note: There is a comma after the end of the salutation (you can use an exclamation point also if there is a need for some emphasis).
Dear Thanksgiving guests,

Body
The body is where you write the content of the letter; the paragraphs should be single spaced with a skipped line between each paragraph. Skip 2 lines between the end of the body and the closing. (This is where it gets fun)

As you all know a fabulous Thanksgiving Dinner does not make itself. I need to ask each of you to help by bringing something to complete the meal. I truly appreciate your offers to assist with the meal preparation.

Now, while I do have quite a sense of humor and joke around all the time, I COULD NOT BE MORE SERIOUS when I am providing you with your Thanksgiving instructions and orders. I am very particular, so please perform your task EXACTLY as I have requested and read your portion very carefully. If I ask you to bring your offering in a container that has a lid, bring your offering in a container WITH A LID, NOT ALUMINUM FOIL! If I ask you to bring a serving spoon for your dish, BRING A SERVING SPOON, NOT A SOUP SPOON! And please do not forget anything.

All food that is to be cooked should already be prepared, bring it hot and ready to serve, warm or room temp. These are your ONLY THREE options. Anything meant to be served cold should, of course, already be cold.

The Mike Byron Family

1. Turnips in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. Please do not fill the casserole all the way up to the top, it gets too messy. I know this may come as a bit of a surprise to you, but most of us hate turnips so don’t feel like you a have to feed an army.
2. Two half gallons of ice cream, one must be VANILLA, I don’t care what the other one is. No store brands please. I did see an ad this morning for Hagan Daz Peppermint Bark Ice Cream, yum!! (no pressure here, though).
3. Toppings for the ice cream.
4. A case of bottled water, NOT gallons, any brand is ok.

The Bob Byron Family

1. Green beans or asparagus (not both) in a casserole with a lid and a serving spoon. If you are making the green beans, please prepare FOUR pounds, if you are making asparagus please prepare FIVE pounds. It is up to you how you wish to prepare them, no soupy sauces, no cheese (you know how Mike is), a light sprinkling of toasted nuts, or pancetta, or some EVOO would be a nice way to jazz them up.
2. A case of beer of your choice (I have Coors Light and Corona) or a bottle of clos du bois chardonnay (you will have to let me know which you will bring prior to 11/22).

The Lisa Byron Chesterford Family

1. Lisa as a married woman you are now required to contribute at the adult level. You can bring an hors d’ouvres. A few helpful hints/suggestions. Keep it very light, and non-filling, NO COCKTAIL SAUCE, no beans of any kind. I think your best bet would be a platter of fresh veggies and dip. Not a huge platter mind you (i.e., not the plastic platter from the supermarket).

The Michelle Bobble Family

1. Stuffing in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please make the stuffing sans meat.
2. 2.5-3 qts. of mashed squash in a casserole with a lid and serving spoon
3. Proscuitto pin wheel – please stick to the recipe, no need to bring a plate.
4. A pie knife

The June Davis Family

1. 15 LBS of mashed potatoes in a casserole with a serving spoon. Please do not use the over-size blue serving dish you used last year. Because you are making such a large batch you can do one of two things: put half the mash in a regulation size casserole with lid and put the other half in a plastic container and we can just replenish with that or use two regulation size casserole dishes with lids. Only one serving spoon is needed.
2. A bottle of clos du bois chardonnay

The Amy Misto Family (why do I even bother she will never read this)

1. A pumpkin pie in a pie dish (please use my silver palate recipe) no knife needed.
2. An apple pie in a pie dish, you can use your own recipe, no knife needed.

Looking forward to the 28th!!

Closing

Let's the reader know that you are finished with your letter; usually ends with Sincerely, Sincerely yours, Thank you, and so on. Note that there is a comma after the end of the closing and only the first word in the closing is capitalized.

                                                                                                                                   Sincerely,

                                                                                                                                                                      

Signature
Your signature will go in this section, usually signed in black or blue ink with a pen. Skip a line after your signature and the P.S.

                                                                                                                                   Marnie

So, that's the ins and outs of writing an informal letter.

Then you have to mail it....
Address your envelope. Your address should be written on the front of the envelope in the upper left hand corner or on the back. The recipient's address must be on the front of the envelope, right in the middle. Carefully fold your letter into thirds with the top part of the letter slightly longer than the other two sections. This allows the letter to be opened with ease. Use your envelope as a folding guide by tucking the letter under the flap and folding upward from the bottom of the letter to the line of the envelope. The writing of your letter should be on the inside of your folding so that the page appears blank as they pull it out of the envelope, only to reveal your lovely letter when they unfold it. Be sure to choose both paper and envelopes that are of similar dimensions. Put your letter in the envelope, with the longest edge upward, then seal it, stamp it, and send it off.

Sounds easy enough, doesn't it?

So, let's all go out and write a letter to a friend, give someone a surprise, and keep the postal department in business.
....and let's hope nobody gets a letter from Marnie this year.